Bell, Book, and Candle: S1 E28: “Complex: Bhad Bhabie Has Reconnected With Her Estranged Father Ira Peskowitz”

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Starring Kirstjen Michele Nielsen (Olivia Taylor Dudley), the Alice Quinn of SyFy Channel’s The Magicians.

Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli, better known as Bhad Bhabie, is on good terms with her estranged father, Ira Peskowitz.

When Kirstjen exits the house, she’s herself again. She could always push the issue. But decides that it’s best for her to move on. Besides, she was beginning to get bored with her “adventures” there anyways.

She’ll stop for a quickie and then head home. The girl flips a coin, and it comes up tails. An arcane hand gesture ports her to another universe another Earth picked by random chance.

Skidrow. An alley behind a dyke bar. Dolly Parton walks by, briefly smiling at Kirstjen. Flashing a Joker’s maniacal grin. While pushing a battered shopping cart. The cart is a prop. Both the smile and the shopping cart are Cosplay.

Describe Dolly Parton’s couture?

Bolshoi-bare, heavily-applied to face, neck, and cleavage. Lily-white complexion. Blonde crane. Perls. Prudz. A stodgy Kaye Maxfield business suit. No blouse. Careys. Barelegged. Lacy white underwire torpedo bra, and no panties. Manicure and pedicure.

Piranhas and Parts, underneath her suit’s chaste skirt. Stilted walk. Having a BBBBBB moment. More Cosplay.

A Vampire. Seventy-something. Controlling. Harsh. Hard pretty face. The saving grace of a huge chest and pancake ass.

A dispassionate sadist. A shrew personified. An alpha dyke. Evil incarnate. Again, Coplay.

This is par for the course, for Ms. Parton. Trolling for a date, same as Kirstjen is doing.

The loathsome old biddy is not a baglady and she isn’t a prostitute. She’s eccentric and oversexed. Kirstjen passes on her. Dolly has the goods alright, but the girl is in the mood for something off the beaten path.

Annie Lenox is who catches Kirstjen’s eye and holds her attention.

This loathsome old biddy is a baglady and a prostitute. The two things often go hand-in-hand. She’s also insane and a nymphomaniac. Ms. Lennox is a junkie too.

The Crone walks by, briefly smiling at Kirstjen. Flashing a Joker’s maniacal grin. While pushing a battered shopping cart. The cart is not a prop. Neither the smile nor the shopping cart is Cosplay.

That wretched plaintive makeup heavily-applied to face, neck, and cleavage. Pasty-white complexion. Blonde moe. Perls. Prudz. A stodgy Kaye Maxfield business suit. No blouse. Flats. Barelegged. Lacy white underwire torpedo bra, and no panties. Manicure and pedicure.

Thick-readers. Piranhas and Parts, underneath her suit’s chaste skirt. Stilted walk. Having a BBBBBB moment. Not Cosplay.

Seventy-something. Abusive. Controlling. A very stern bitch. Very mean. Petty. Vindictive. Envious. Foul tempered. Harsh. Hard face. The saving grace of a huge chest and pancake ass. A dispassionate sadist. A shrew personified. An alpha dyke. An apex bulldyke. Evil incarnate. Again, not Coplay.

Annie Lenox’s half-sister, a Witch named Jodie Turner-Smith, watches Annie and Kirstjen from a position of concealment both of sight and sound. Of the two sisters, Jodie is more depraved and possessive. Jodie is also chocolate in complexion. It’s Jodie who exclusively fucks white chicks. As such. Jodie’s OCD compels her to have the blonde blue-eyed Kirstjen at all costs, even if it’s at her sister Annie’s expense.

“You covet what is mine, nigger bitch!!!” A voice screams in corrupted Prussian as the back of Jodie’s skull is caved in, followed up by the extinction event of a bi-directional-RTW an RTW in both directions.

Not a disembodied voice and invisible hands.

It’s Mx. Mildred Elizabeth Huff, in the flesh, who has somehow repossessed her physical body, after having survived bodiless far longer than one would think was possible. A lesser being might have dissipated or turned into a ghost.

Having decimated its perceived rival. Mx. Hux ejaculates, stroking her prosthetic penis into even bigger serial eruptions. Doing herself into a sexual frenzy, reveling in her reassuming the identity of Mx. Mildred Elizabeth Huff, an identity that belonged to her from the get-go.