NBC’s Saturday Night Fights, UFC presents: No Fae — Just “The Gray”

Fats “Gertrude” Waller (Groll) vs. Babe “Ruth” Nelson (Hulk)

Round 1

 Waller leads off with a low kick, then backs Nelson off with a front kick. Nelson comes inside and just slips a knee from Waller, but eats the leg kick behind it. Nelson stumbles and Waller is on Nelson’s back in the blink of an inhuman eye.

They hit the floor and Waller is hunting for the rear-naked choke, but Nelson somehow twists loose and escapes to her feet. Waller keeps Nelson on the fence and scores with some big knees to the body, then a couple up top.

Nelson is getting mauled in the clinch and turns her fellow Goon around into the fence, where Nelson slugs with some no-look lefts.

Both Goons, Fats a half-breed — half Giant / half Troll — and Babe a pure-blood Hulk, these are BIG GIRLS, “real” heavyweights. So, when they swing for the fences, and they connect, it’s as if thunder is clapping.

Another pair of knees to the face of Nelson have Waller back in control in the clinch, but “Ruth” regains her composure and turns “Gerdy” around again.

Nelson’s midsection is bruised up already as she tries to control the smaller big woman on the outside. Ref Josh Rosenthal splits them up with 1:40 left in the round and he wants the cageside physician to take a look at Nelson’s bloodied nose. The doc clears Nelson to continue and Nelson is immediately greeted by Waller’s knee when they restart.

Waller backs Nelson off with wide punches, but Babe catches a kick and socks Fats with a big right, felling the BJJ specialist. Nelson gives chase to the ground and Waller throws up an armbar, but Nelson keeps in tight and defends. They’re back on the feet with 20 seconds left and Waller closes out the frame with a kick to the body and another hard knee.

Round 2

Waller slams a hard kick to the outside of Nelson’s thigh and then drops her with another knee. Nelson’s right back up, grinning and walking Waller down. Nelson connects with a couple flailing rights, but when she gets in the pocket, Waller tags her with more vicious knees and kicks.

Nelson’s face is a mess, blood flecked all over her huge tits and chest as she chases Waller around the cage. Waller’s right hand is finding its mark on Nelson’s face and guts both. The massive Nelson connects with a right that appears to hurt Waller, but Waller is still throwing back as Nelson gives chase around the outside. Nelson tries to tie up just before the horn and grazes with a right hand.

Waller is looking tired as she leans up against the fence immediately after the round expires.

Round 3

 Nelson and her bloodstained midriff inch toward Waller, who changes levels after 30 seconds and rushes for a takedown. Nelson puts Waller’s back on the fence and snares Waller in a guillotine, but the choke doesn’t look very tight and Waller soon breaks the grip.

They go back to throwing and Waller connects with a two-piece and another knee before Nelson wraps her up again. Once they break, Waller loads up on another pair of rights, another knee, and a stiff jab.

Waller piles up the jabs and then turns Nelson around with a snapping front kick to the mush. Two minutes to go and this is looking like a lost cause for Nelson, who keeps coming forward but can’t lay any substantial strikes on her less massive foe. Waller scores with an uppercut and a grazing high knee, then steps out of the way of a syrupy low kick from Nelson. A straight right to the body of Nelson connects, but Babe is still moving forward at the end.

Official result: It’s a clean sweep with three 30-27 scorecards for Fats “Gertrude” Waller, the winner by unanimous decision.