Hawk tuah (/ˌhɔːk ˈtuːə/ HAWK TOO-ə) is an internet meme originating from a viral YouTube video posted in 2024. During a street interview, Haliey Welch (/ˈheɪli/; born 2002 or 2003) used the catchphrase “hawk tuah”, an onomatopoeia for spitting or expectoration on a man’s penis during fellatio.
Mx. Lauren Fix, the oldest sister of Ms. Tammie Abell Fix, is a well-used eighty-something version of the “Hawk Tuah” Girl, Haliey Welch? Yes. A sour-faced old biddy. With a Ph.D. in psychiatric nursing (i.e., nutcracking) and eons of experience in the nutcracker business. A “functional” lunatic, Mx. Fix is as crazy, depraved, and degenerate as anyone or anything that she has ever treated or will ever treat for mental illness. An asshole, a scumbag, and a crazy.
Nicknamed “Mx. Fixit”, by her colleagues in the mental health field, she “passes” as a god, not a God. Plain and ugly. A patron and user of the insane. A so-called “lunatic chaser”.
The usual suspects?
Of course.
Thick-readers. Plaintive makeup heavily-applied to face, neck, and cleavage. Lily-white complexion. Big blonde hair, a jeannie. Perls. Prudz. A stodgy Kaye Maxfield business suit. No blouse. Flats. Barelegged. Lacy white underwire torpedo bra, and no panties. Manicure and pedicure.
That wretched plaintive makeup applied heavily to her face, neck, and cleavage, amplifies the ugly and plain of a woman who has always had ravaged looks. Ugly and plain without plaintive makeup. Uglier and plainer with plaintive makeup.
This old biddy is walking stilted, as if she’s a butch who’s strapping Piranhas and Parts, and having an MTG 24×7 “bleach-blonde, bad-built, butch body” moment. Because. This old biddy is strapping butch and having an MTG 24×7 BBBBBB moment.
Envious of attractive women; she craves the punishment of pretty women for the “crime” of being pretty, with the preferred punishments being WGS, cilice, flogging, disfigurement, and gender-bending, all of which are self-inflicted (i.e., punishments inflicted by the pretty woman upon the pretty woman).
Creepy and obsessive-compulsive. Fugly. Neither attractive nor very feminine-looking. A Harpy who is easily mistaken for a mongrel Witch. A pure-breed Hag for whom consensual sex is indistinguishable from rape most brutal and most foul.
Additionally.
She blood-drinks her lovers as if she were a Vampire. And. Her archaic accent is an odd mix of proper Queen’s English, vaguely Eastern European, and something else indistinguishable and very ancient. A woman’s deep, raspy, borderline masculine voice.
The quintessential dominatrix. Unfettered hatred. Strident. Severe. Stiff-backed. Astringent personified. RBF. One of those resting frown-face chicks aka resting bitch face girls.
Stone-faced, when she’s not flashing that maniacal Joker’s smile of hers. A toothy grin that makes her look like she’s completely unhinged.
Dour, stern, humorless, and severe. Relentlessly severe, stern, or gloomy in manner or appearance. A hard, dour, humorless fanatic.
A face that says: “I got too much Botox and I need help.” and “My face hurts to smile, to even try.” and “I messed up. Look, this big ass Joker’s smile is the only smile I got anymore.”
All-in-all a perfect match-up for Kirstjen. So. It’s too bad for Kirstjen that Mx. Fix, who is also addressed as Nurse Fix, replaces Mx. Debra entirely, and, by doing so, becomes The Nurse.
Debra is gone. Extinct. Per The Doctor, Nurse Fix did away with Debra. The existence of this Nurse Fix made that Debra redundant anyways.
Mx. Fix’s sense of self is deeply rooted in obsessive fantasies of herself as a robot transman in drag. Hence her robotic mannish ways and means.
The Doctor, The Nurse, The View, The Voice, and The Hands, are the looney bin’s staff. A staff that experiments on the patients and themselves. A staff that is as crazy as the inmates.
Kirstjen goes cold turkey, and stops visiting the house. Her life goes back to the way it was before the house and its indulgencies. Back to being the hard pretty Kirstjen. This pleases her husband Judi to no end. How long this sobriety lasts is anyone’s guess.
Mx. Fix does not forget about Kirstjen, reimagining her as a hard unpretty girl who’s fifty-something and well-used, and built-to-please; her “prized” possession. This becomes Mx. Fix’s preeminent obsession.
Then. The inevitable relapse…, resoundingly?
Postscript:
What if?
The Nurses. Mx. Fix as Nurse One. Mx. Debra as Nurse Two. Both of them as robot transmen in drag with robotic mannish ways and means. The looney bin’s automaton genderqueer nursing staff.
This version of Mx. Debra is a hard unpretty girl who looks fifty-something and well-used, and built-to-please: So all that time and money wasted on makeup and hair, when plain and ugly was all it took. The fugly girl that Mx. Fix craves the utmostess. Kirstjen as a well-used fifty-something version of the “Hawk Tuah” Girl, Haliey Welch? Yes. Not the hard pretty thirty-something Kirstjen.
Bottomline. Nurse Two is very much, in many ways that matter, a fifty-something version of the eighty-something Nurse One. Nurse Two aka Two-of-One.
The End