Bell, Book, and Candle: S1 E13: Insane

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Starring Kirstjen Michele Nielsen (Olivia Taylor Dudley), the Alice Quinn of SyFy Channel’s The Magicians.

Along Maryland Plaza, the decaying Victorian mansions, and their guard of ancient willow trees, are only visible and material, accessible in this plane of existence, when they wish to be.

Mattie M. Vales-Eddington, a Witch baglady, pushes her battered shopping cart up on Linda’s front porch. Filthy, smelly, and infested, Matties is wearing a dirty tattered overcoat and nothing else on this sweltering August day.

She has been stalking Kirstjen for weeks. Having latched onto Kirstjen when the girl substitute taught a night course that she had enrolled in at Brakebills. A chance encounter that has morphed into something quite sinister. Mattie has quite the hankering for the girl. A bonafide fixation.

Mattie rings the doorbell of the house that she saw Kirstjen enter.

Claire answers the door. Blank, empty, fugly, deranged Claire. Lunatic Nurse Claire. A Claire wearing Coke-bottle eyeglasses and a jeannie yanked back into a sternka, and minus gloves and a business suit, of course.

Mattie is so obsessed with Kirstjen, that Kirstjen’s fugly much-older-looking Claire “disguise” doesn’t fool her the least little bit. Mattie recognizes Claire as Kirstjen, immediately.

This combination of thick-readers, plaintive make-up, and old-fogey jeannie yanked back into a sternka, age-ravages Kirstjen by decades. This version of Kirstjen looks at least two decades older: looks fifty-something instead of thirty-something, and looks well-used.

If this fugly version of Kirstjen were wearing Bolshoi-bare in place of plaintive make-up, it would amount to putting lipstick on a pig. Thick-readers amounts to heaping ugly on top of ugly. 

Mattie starts to make a pass, then stops dead in her tracks, just as quickly realizing that whoever she is looking at, is no longer the Kirstjen that she is acquainted with. She smacks her lips. Her Parts tentpole her overcoat.

“My bad. I mistook you for someone else. At a distance, I saw you entering this building. At a distance, you look like my teacher at Brakebills, Professor Kirstjen. Up close, I can see that you’re a different person, entirely.”

Claire, of course, shows no recognition of Mattie, whatsoever. Nor does the girl react to the “Professor Kirstjen” reference. This turns on Mattie to no end. She ejaculates into her coat.

Mattie and Professor Kirstjen are part of Kirstjen’s life, not Claire’s. Hence the lack of recognition by Claire.

This not-a-pretty-girl version of Kirstjen appeals to Mattie to no end. Appeals to her levels more than the pretty girl version. So. Risking the obvious hazards of what is clearly gear porn. Against her better judgement, Mattie must hit on this depraved girl.

Claire steps aside so that Mattie can enter.

Mattie enters with her cart.

The front door closes and locks itself. They’re in foyer, and transition into a huge lobby.

Once inside the building proper, Mattie is exposed to the sights and sounds of an insane asylum. Very decadent and very Victorian.

“Hello. My name is Nurse Claire. I am a patient trustee. I will take you to the Doctor, for your orientation. Thank you for self-admitting yourself to our hospital for treatment. As a charity case, you will pay your way as a patient trustee and matron.”

Mattie craves the girl’s deep creepy Prussian gender-bent voice. Liking it much better than Kirstjen’s smokey sexy feminine voice.

“I want to fuck you.”

“Of course. My pleasure.”

Mattie gropes Claire’s big juicy bra-holstered tits, one-handed. Projectile breasts thanks to the girl’s white lacy torpedo bra.

They French kiss.

Mattie gropes the erection in the girl’s rubber panties, with her other hand. The hung-like-a-horse girl ejaculates.

One of the more violent patients, a naked Mr. Fred, walks up behind Mattie and bashes in her skull with his fists. The Goon’s blows kill her outright.

Invisible hands rip off Mattie’s coat, dragging her and her cart away in separate directions. The coat and the cart will be disposed of in the basement incinerator, by one set of invisible hands. Mattie will be taken to The Doctor, by the other set of invisible hands.

Front and back door quivering and puckering. Claire turns off her features, and drops to her knees in front of Fred. She deep throats him, like an all-day lollipop. Sucking on his sour mash balls, wantonly. Greedily swallowing the elderly man’s jism geyser. Licking his asshole, and deep probing his anus with her long well-educated tongue. Her virtuosity putting the most talented porn starlets on notice.

Fred urinates and defecates on Claire. Painting her hair, face, front, and back, with his filth. With her features offline, she stays filthy. Wallowing in D&H, degradation and humiliation, of Fred’s authorship.

When she finishes orally-pleasuring Fred, a ranting and raving Fred wanders off.

“Pretty girls can do anything. I am not pretty. Ugly girls MUST do everything. I am ugly,” Claire shrieks. This is her set speech, always screamed after she has serviced a patient and that patient has in turn degraded her. Tit for tat. Patients “pay” Claire for servicing them by degrading her.

“Pretty girls can do anything. I am not pretty. Ugly girls MUST do everything. I am ugly,” is also her set speech, always screamed after she has serviced herself and she has in turn degraded herself. Tit for tat. Claire “pays” Claire for servicing herself by degrading herself.

Invisible hands gag the girl. Gagged by a fetish penis-ball-gag.

When Claire doesn’t need to speak, she’s kept gagged.

When Claire doesn’t need to be clean and pristine, her features are kept offline and she is filthy. Tit for tat. Wallowing in D&H, of various authorship including her own.

Claire. Nurse Claire. Demented deranged depraved Nurse Claire. Thick-readers. Perls. Bullet bra. Rubber panties. Careys. Stilted walk. Strapping butch. BBBBBB moment. Plaintive make-up. Fugly. Old-fogey yellow-blonde jeannie yanked back into a sternka. Looking well-used and looking at least fifty-something. Wallowing in D&H, of various authorship including her own, most of the time. Clean and pristine, features online, some of the time. Gagged by a fetish penis-ball-gag, most of the time. A sadomasochistic flesh-n-blood robot, all of the time. Narcissistic dominatrix and self-loathing submissive: a living contradiction in terms.

When clean and pristine. Claire is afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A personality disorder that causes people to be excessively self-absorbed, especially about their looks.

In narcissist Claire’s case, ugly is beautiful. WGS, in play here, in spades.

When filthy. Claire exemplifies hatred of, or contempt for, herself. Self-hate. Self-loathing. Self-contempt. Self-disgust.

In self-loathing Claire’s case, she’s obsessed with being punished for the “crime” of being ugly. Again, WGS, in play here, in spades.

Therefore. Whether she’s narcissist Claire or self-loathing Claire, she’s obsessed with ugly. WGS, in spades.

Claire abuses and degrades patients and staff including The Doctor.

Claire is abused and degraded by patients and staff including The Doctor.

There’s also that fusion of depraved narcissist Claire and deranged self-loathing Claire. The resulting hybrid is totally out of her mind. Mad as a hatter. A homicidal maniac that MUST be restrained. Mindless feral Claire. Claire as The Lunatic.

Claire. The Lunatic. Mindless feral Claire. Sometimes clean and pristine. Sometimes filthy. And. Sometimes a little bit of both clean-n-pristine and filthy.

Claire. The Lunatic. Mindless feral Claire. Thick-readers. Fetish penis-ball-gag. Perls. Torpedo bra. Careys. Stilted walk. Strapping butch. BBBBBB moment. Plaintive make-up. Fugly. Old-fogey yellow-blonde jeannie yanked back into a sternka. Looking well-used and looking at least fifty-something. What Vampira’s space zombie character in Plan 9 From Outer Space ultimately devolves into by the end of the movie.

Typically, when Claire is not doing her rounds, she’s plugged into her drone alcove, getting firmware updates and doing chores virtually. Both Borg alcoves, Linda’s central alcove and Claire’s drone alcove, are in the basement.