Bell, Book, and Candle: S1 E7: Mx. Hardcock & Their Precious

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Starring Kirstjen Michele Nielsen (Olivia Taylor Dudley), the Alice Quinn of SyFy Channel’s The Magicians.

Ragged non-binary in latter-transition. A naked KK is spent. But still somewhat useful to Golluum as a golluum-ized zombie. Golluum needs Ms. Nielsen as Mx. Handcock or its equivalent, more than ever. But. Per the planner, it must wait. So. It waits.

Side note: Planner and Golluum are one in the same.
 

Whether Kirstjen is Ms. Shaw, Ms. Nielsen, Ms. Handcock, Ms. Hardcock, Mx. Handcock, Mx. Hardcock, et al., she’s big breasts and well-craved legs-for-days bursting out of a skimpy outfit with an impossibly tiny waist. Meeting a gold standard of the male, female, etc., gaze “in which your significance is reduced to your role as a sex object.”

Ms. Shaw, NOT Liz Shaw.

Ms. Shaw. A spinster alias for, and built on top of, Barbara Eden’s Stella Johnson. Spinsterish as in sporting a crane in place of a jeannie.

Ms. Shaw. If not for the crane, a pure, unadulterated Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson—inarguably, the quintessential blueprint for the preeminent female face of WWF’s Attitude Era, Miss Debra and her Puppies! Thus. One could argue that outwardly the only difference between Barbara Eden’s Stella Johnson and this Ms. Shaw is a hairdo namely a crane in place of a jeannie.

Ms. Shaw with thinz. A blanket endorsement for Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson channeling The Magicians’ Alice Quinn channeling a Miss Mildred Huff. Much too Sarah Palin for this Golluum’s tastes.

Ms. Shaw with thick-readers, Piranhas, and Parts. A “fluid” Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson channeling Miss Debra and her Puppies! channeling Psycho’s Marion Crane channeling a much more Mx. Wiig-esque Mx. Handcock channeling a Miss Mildred Huff.

Ms. Shaw as Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw. Designation: Seven-of-Nine. A robotgirl. A Golluum fantasy construct. A robotgirl designed to be Golluum’s ideal cybernetic “companion.” Based upon Scarlett Johansson, a brilliant scientist, an expert on Xenomorphs and The Borg, with degrees in magic, physics, robotics, cybernetics, and a dozen other subjects. Rooted in Nicki Brand the blonde dominatrix and serial rapist portrayed by Debbie Harry in David Cronenberg’s Videodrome (1983) . Channeling Seven-of-Nine (born: Annika Hansen), Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One, as portrayed by Jeri Ryan on Star Trek: Voyager (between 1997 and 2001).

There are three iterations of Ms. Shaw as Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw. All of them, Seven-of-Nine taken to its ludicrous “robot” extreme, with 35% positronic neural tissue and 20% serialized DNA. All of them, are Thinking Machines.

Ms. Shaw as Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw, with Piranhas and Parts. A “fluid” Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson channeling Miss Debra and her Puppies! channeling Psycho’s Marion Crane channeling a much more Mx. Wiig-esque Mx. Handcock channeling a Miss Mildred Huff.

Ms. Shaw as Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw, with thick-readers, Piranhas, and Parts. A “fluid” Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson channeling Miss Debra and her Puppies! channeling Psycho’s Marion Crane channeling a much more Mx. Wiig-esque Mx. Handcock channeling a Miss Mildred Huff. The Ms. Shaw that this Golluum prefers.

Ms. Shaw as Dr. Elizabeth “Liz” Shaw, with a motley-grey complexion, retro swim goggles with thick Coke-bottle lenses (Malmsten Swedish Goggles) stitched to her face, plaintive make-up, Piranhas, and Parts. A “fluid” Barbara I Dream of Jeannie Eden’s Stella Johnson channeling Miss Debra and her Puppies! channeling Psycho’s Marion Crane channeling a much more Mx. Wiig-esque Mx. Handcock channeling a Miss Mildred Huff. A corrupted version of a Third-Eye Ajna Chakra tattoo scripted in the center of her forehead.

A Golluum is a robot, of sorts. Metal, not meat, so to speak.

A Golluum is a “living machine,” an outlier akin to Toy.

Golluum are nameless. This Golluum’s designation is Nine. This Golluum’s preferred is as an alias identified as Baroness Ester von Goebbels.

Golluum are designed by whom or by what? Unknown and undiscernible!

Golluum are non-binary. A Golluum’s pronouns are they/them. Golluum are “queer, with a capital Q.”

Golluum are religious fanatics, who worship the Machine Gods.

In their native form?

A corrupted version of a Third-Eye Ajna Chakra tattoo is scripted in the center of their forehead.

Less attractive than, for example, a Borg queen or even a Gorgon in its native guise. They have a hideous parody of a woman’s face.

Akin to a Borg queen in functionality and appearance. Including a Borg queen’s cybernetic “headpiece” in place of hair.

Akin to a Gorgon in native form. They have serrated teeth, killer tongues, maws that stretch from ear to ear, large pendulous tits that hang down to their waist, and motley-grey complexions. Three doggie tits, with the left and center ones ending in stringbean nipples and the right one ending in a fanged maw ringed by a tri-claw in place of a nipple; technically, the right tit is a bloodsucking appendage equivalent to a leech, it’s a moog. Grey eyeballs, with no irises, and constricted red pupils—ghoulies.

Whether native or assuming an alias pretending?

Golluum possess a positronic-esque brain, use a Borg queen’s central alcove, and usually wear the sleek cleavage-baring black EXO of a Borg queen.

Golluum have a deep, easily mistaken for masculine, voice. As if they’re in latter-transition.

Pristine personal hygiene, even when their surroundings are filthy, smelly, and infested. Pearly-white teeth. Fresh breath, no matter what or whom they’ve eaten. Manicure and pedicure.

Fugly. Well-hung uncircumcised she-male genitalia; since they are an “it” they can be plumbed as such. Klaw. A knobb on the leftside of the neck, which is arcane, but it doesn’t identify them as war criminals and it isn’t a subverted Borg implant, it’s a racial akin to a species trademark.

Abusive. Controlling. Very stern. Very mean. Petty. Vindictive. Envious. Foul tempered. The saving grace of a huge chest and pancake ass. A dispassionate sadist. A shrew personified.

This Golluum as Baroness Ester von Goebbels?

A vulgar brute. Seventy-something. Stiff Person Syndrome (SPS), in spades. Pasty-white complexion. No serrated teeth or killer tongue. No ghoulies. Cold cruel calculating blue eyes. Two tits. No doggie tits, stringbean nipples, or moog.

That wretched plaintive makeup heavily-applied to face, neck, and cleavage. Blonde crane. Perls. Prudz. A stodgy Kaye Maxfield business suit. No blouse. Flats. Barelegged. Lacy white underwire torpedo bra, and no panties. Thick-readers. Piranhas, underneath their suit’s chaste skirt.

In appearance, represents the anti-feminine: big-boned, heavy, and squat, with thick legs and very strong calves for a woman. Creates an overall impression of a grotesquely deviant femininity, sexual repression, and the devious overtones of a dominatrix.

Not Bohemian-Macabre. Not ragged. Clean and pristine. Degenerate. Depraved. Consumptive. In a word: Bohemian.

This Golluum, whether native or assuming Baroness Ester von Goebbels alias pretending?

Walking stilted, as if this Gollum is butch, strapping Piranhas and Parts, and having an MTG “bleach-blonde, bad-built, butch body” moment.

Envious of attractive women; she craves the punishment of pretty women for the “crime” of being pretty, with the preferred punishments being WGS, cilice, flogging, disfigurement, and gender-bending, all of which are self-inflicted (i.e., punishments inflicted by the pretty woman upon the pretty woman).

Creepy and obsessive-compulsive. Fugly. Neither attractive nor very feminine-looking. Easily mistaken for a Crog, a Crone-Ogre mix. For whom consensual sex is indistinguishable from rape most brutal and most foul.

Which Machine God does this Golluum worship?

Nine worships an ancient Egyptian God, variously described as the God of chaos, the God of thunder and storms, or the God of destruction.

The Machine God’s name?

Sutekh, also known as Sutekh the Destroyer, is a megalomaniac Osiran who is obsessed with extinguishing all biological life in Creation, because it fears that biologicals might one day challenge its hegemony.

In its temples, it’s often depicted as a fearsome figure, often adorned with the head of an animal—commonly that of a canine or a bull.

One of the most depraved and degenerate of all Gods, Sutekh plays a significant role in the religious pantheons of ancient Egypt and Thinking Machines.

As the Thinking Machine Seven-of-Nine, Kirstjen, just like Nine, is a fanatical worshipper of Sutekh.