“Darque Razor”

Darque Razor

Sexy, Sexy, Sexy, Sexy. It’s SEXY again and again, with her bleached-blond coif, pancake makeup, loathsome mouth, dark brooding eyeliner, cold blooded stare, and hard, haughty looks. Nothing cosmetically Kum or Borg. A walking orgasm.

But. Plain, some would say Borg, is always waiting in the wings. Sternka, sternns, or palins, and prudz or borgz. Knobb and klaw, too or not. Careys, those Borg stilettos, of course. Robotic: Something vaguely robotic about her walk, speech, and mannerisms that easily pass for dominatrix when it could just as easily be taken for Borg. It’s a matter of when, not if, she digresses. And. Sandman takes on a whole new meaning when she takes a “notion,” goes she-male, and sports a kock, fused seamlessly to her nethers, stuffed in those skimpy knickers of hers. Still a walking orgasm, nonetheless.

Then there’s dirty but we won’t even go there, not now. Now is about the business at hand. Mondo has obligations to take care of. So, she falls in step with the others and plays the role of attentive conventioneer.

There are unseen, as well as unforeseen, differences about the big girl. Underneath her jacket, she’s strapping her Wahl, and it ain’t Hogs that call her W-30 home neither. A deuce of 2.0s, version 2.0 Tessys, is what she’s packing, per the new Mako (pronounced “may-ko”) regs for librarians. The Hogs are gone, along with a lot of other excess baggage that she’s picked up along the way in her travels from here to there and back again. Her minions have gone native: once more they’re inconspicuously strapping her slender white thighs underneath her black rubber slip. Her purse is strapping her right thigh. And, her vujcic, holstered in her Kendo, is strapping her left thigh. Katz pierces her right earlobe. More Mako: In place of a phone, smartphone or otherwise, is a Borg OSX Tricorder, the likes of which were featured in the controversial “Star Trek: Voyager – The Endgame” episode. In comparison to even the vaulted MK 9 and 10 versions, of the Starfleet issue tricorder, the OSX Tricorder is so ahead of its time that it’s liken to a future 25th century version of Starfleet’s tricorder; it’s been called a tricorder on steroids. This Borg tricorder, known commonly as a Weirding Module, has a higher sensor resolution capability, and other features such as a larger screen and secondary operations screen. And, as an addendum, it’s a personal shield generator and “discrete” pattern emulator, among other things scientific. In effect, it’s a portable research laboratory. As featured in “Star Trek: Voyager,” the oversized tricorder is cradled in a Starfleet Mark IX tricorder holster; a “conventional” black plasticine slide holster that’s gripping the waistband of her skirt in the front on the leftside, SSb for librarians.

Her perls allow her hands-free operation of katz and tricorder, but, being Borg tech, her perls cannot assimilate the tricorder. Of course, her perls can easily assimilate an issue Starfleet tricorder. In due time, her perls will “learn” her Borg tricorder, and by doing so learn to emulate it, rendering the module superfluous?

And, it goes without saying that, in spite of them being fashionably concealed underneath her coat and skirt, she doesn’t have to open her coat or raise her skirt to access her holsters or her purse. Ergo, if she needs to pull a weapon or handle her tricorder, it’s as if she pulled them out of nowhere. This sandman is packing Starfleet, Kum, and Borg tech, to boot: So. VERY tekken, of her. My. My. My. Things have come full circle, indeed.

Also underneath her jacket, gripping the waistband of her skirt, tastefully concealed, a Weirding is worn in the back; the Borg universal holster, not the Borg module. This too is Mako. This plaintive, avante-guard black plasticine abomination looks every bit like a creepy, no-nonsense creation of Swiss surrealist H. R. Giger — as in, bland looks and it makes your flesh crawl when you touch it. Giger’s twisted, spartan vision of what a utilitarian carry should look like. For now, it’s empty. But. It has been partitioned specifically and exclusively as storage for her pistols — her “deuce mixture,” so to speak — and her blade; the trifecta, a Triple-Small-Of-Back-Holster. Every time a non-Borg wearer interfaces with a Weirding, they chance assimilation to a drone. Every time a Borg wearer like Mondo interfaces with one, they chance relapse to a drone. Damnation in resin. Not “safe” like a non-Borg universal. But, make no mistake about it, once you come to grips, so to speak, with the practical issues of accessibility, concealment, comfort, and assimilation, in that order; it’s the shit when it comes to carry. Who’d have thunk it indeed?

SotB, for her new back store. SSb, for her W module. The question is when, not if, her purse goes cosmopolitan — strapless, gripping the waistband of her skirt alongside her slide holstered tricorder, her Tessys and vujcic get “loaded” into their brand-new home –an ambidextrous “home,” and as such, a holster that can easily interface with either hand — and the return of Plain?

Cosmopolitan, for her stealthy and faithful minions: Something to look forward to. Purse strapless, gripping the waistband of her skirt alongside her holstered tricorder; cigarette purse and tricorder worn on the leftside, of course. Sneaky-ass Kendo and Wahl, gone; replaced by the even sneakier Small-of-the-Back/Middle-of-the-Back carry option that is the Weirding. Ergo. Nothing strapping those slender, white thighs of hers underneath that form-fitting, scandalously-short, rubber skirt of hers, lapping the bare white flesh of her long, shapely legs. Flawless. Nothing strapping that lean white torso of hers, except for her bra. Flawless. Butch attitude. Babe looks. Killer legs. Awesome bod. Flawless. And needless to say if she needs to handle a weapon or her tricorder, it’s as if she pulled them out of nowhere.

Though a drone, she wears her skins just like the “other” exo-plating of a Borg Queens on an Away. The long black kid gloves in her purse, those Runed opera gloves, the hideous abominations that she’s aching to wear, are of course her skinz which have been transformed into the gloves of a Borg by Two. When it comes to saps or shooting, BGs are the shit. And, with the wearing of those hideous gloves of hers, plain would surely follow very soon after. Borg gloves: Borgz. Borg stilettos: Careys. And, plain.

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