Cindy McCain

“Simply Marvelous”

The McCains – America First and Forever!!! – God Bless America!!!

They are standing in a dark room. Mondo and Mrs. Smith are standing, patiently waiting. Finally, Cindy McCain enters the room and sits down in the only chair. She sits tippi, just like Mondo always does. Mrs. McCain is wearing white patent-leather pumps and that pink brute-knit power suit that she was wearing on the June 30th cover of Newsweek Magazine when her husband ran for President [of the United States] that last time. She’s sporting a cyndi, the same lush blonde hairdo that she sported on that aforementioned Newsweek cover: Her trademark long blonde locks, instead of that new bob that she debuted at the US Naval Academy graduation ceremony on Friday; with that bob, the Arizona senator’s wife appeared to have cut off approximately 6 inches of hair. She’s also wearing a perl necklace. These days, for obvious reasons, her perls are trick. Cigarette purse [gripping the waistband of her miniskirt on the leftside]. Universal [gripping the waistband of her skirt alongside her purse]. Braless and commando, just because. Snow white glace kid gloves, gloves with that sprayed-on second-skin fit, Rubberware brand: “Starched” white gloves; you know, those severe, white “rubber” gloves; the prudish, prim-and-proper ones; you know, those creepy [spinster] prudz (pronounced: prudes); you know, the creepy-looking Puritanical ones with the fingernails and varicose veins. These skinz, unlike her opera-length pairs, don’t make the girl’s hands klaw [when idle or otherwise], but they make the girl’s hands look creepy nonetheless; much creepier than if they really did talon the girl’s hands. The creepy kid gloves complement her stuffy suit. White gloves and creamy white flesh: 1950s Puritanical at its strictest and most Ike. White gloves and creamy white flesh, the gloves might as well be flesh colored: It almost looks like she’s not wearing any gloves at all. On duty, her hands stay gloved: Very cold and quite impersonal. On duty: very severe, in spite of her stylish hairdo. So severe, in fact, that it’s easily mistaken for Borg!

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