Nosferatu, Chapter 08
A Passion for Acting
A belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.—Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes, 1911
Found Love in the RFT Personals? It’s a chance encounter. Lucy answering a lonely nun’s advertisement in the Riverfront Times personals. The nun is a Bene Gesserit. Here, with the nun, she is not Lucy. She is the under-expressive Karen Digney, a woman who the nun is obsessed with. A loose end that needs to be tied up? Or. A loose cannon who needs to be feed?
It’s all role play. Karen is the submissive. Sister Edy is the dominatrix. Their roles will never change. There is no “safe” word. This a game. And. It is the first time they’ve played it. How it will end, nobody knows. Maybe there won’t be a next time for either one of them.
“I, Karen Digney, have been very sinful. Please … punish me for my sins. I deserve your punishment, Sister Edy.”
Short, sweet, and to the point. A scripted confession, authored by Sister Edy.
“Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Your penance is one ‘Our Father’ and two ‘Hail Mary’ prayers. Your punishment will come soon enough, by my righteous hands and feet.”
A fake penance from a real nun Sister Edy for a fake confession from a fake Karen Digney. The punishment part of the penance is real enough, though.
They emerge from the confessional. There is no one else in the chapel, this late, on a Friday night.
Karen is dressed as her usual self. Disguising herself as a frumpy cunt. As such. Few people would know that she’s a looker with a killer body. So. Figuratively speaking, she’s hiding in plain sight. Who would give her a second look, let alone find her attractive, when she’s looking this way? Pretty much no one.
Sister Edy is dressed in her old-fashioned habit—i.e., a severe black and white “penguin” getup, with the requisite opaque black stockings and ugly black knob shoes. An outfit straight out of the pre-Vatican II days of the late 1950’s. Only her face and hands are exposed.
She’s a staunch conservative. One of those by-the-Book anti-reform Catholics. As such. She doesn’t recognize the reforms of the past sixty years. A nun for fifty years. A Catholic for her entire life. She’s never changed her ways or her doings about The Faith.
No makeup. No nail polish. No perfume. Cold water baths. Etc.
In spite of her advancing age—i.e., she’s pushing eighty. She’s still quite the looker. A look-alike for her namesake, actress Edwina Beth Williams.
When we think of the term “worse for wear”, somehow provocative images of 39-26-37 actress Edwina Beth Williams (better known as Edy Williams) and her outrageous apparel at film festivals and award shows instantly stands out into one’s mind. You have to admit this wild child, who has now moved into her late 70s, can never be accused of being a shrinking violet and not giving her all to her chosen profession.
Underneath Sister Edy’s uniform, she’s wearing the required [by her Order] burlap sack fashioned into a full slip. No bra. Plain, white cotton panties. A burlap slip and cotton panties that have been pressed and starched to within an inch of their life.
Every morning. The first thing she does is an hour of self-flagellation. Flogging or beating, either as a religious discipline or for sexual gratification: “pursuing the path of penance and flagellation”. She tastes the whip daily for both reasons.
She also engages in auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA): the practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating.
The Church, of course, turns a blind eye to all such personal practices of corporal punishment and auto erotica, by Catholics. Especially, when said Catholics are Bene Gesserit nuns.
The sinful, elderly nun smiles at Karen’s dowdy appearance. She looks the girl up and down, lecherously. This is worth breaking her vows for, by her way of thinking. She’ll confess her sins, much later, to God and flog herself appropriately as atonement for her sins.
In nervous anticipation of what is about to ensue, she reaches out and covetously strokes the side of the girl’s face. Envy, the little green monster, and desire, the sins of the flesh, flash in her eyes. Consuming her, completely.
Sexually repressed. Sexually depraved. Racked by loathing and disdain, and hate. Obsessive compulsive. Mentally disturbed. A borderline alcoholic. Sister Edy is a complete and utter mess.
Even before her fall from grace. Even when she was very young girl. Sister Edy could be eccentric, bordering on creepy, at times. One of her strangest habits, being her penchant for disguising herself as a frumpy cunt. As such. Few people know that she’s a looker with a killer body. A killer body with a grotesque difference—i.e., she was born with male and female genitalia.
That’s why the way the fake Karen looks right now, turns Sister Edy on to no end. Karen as a frumpy cunt. This is the fake Karen as the real Karen as the nun’s physical fantasy come true. In her corrupted mind, Sister Edy cannot distinguish the fake Karen from the real one. To her, they are one in the same person. If you show Sister Edy a picture of the real Karen, she will see the fake Karen instead in the picture.
Even when she’s undressed, and looking at herself in the mirror, Sister Edy sees herself as a frumpy cunt instead of the looker with a killer body that she is. She suffers from an extreme version of BDD.
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder usually characterized by an obsessive preoccupation that some aspect of one’s own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it. In Sister Edy’s case, she sees her entire appearance as being flawed.
If Karen were undressed. Sister Edy is so obsessed and disturbed that she would still see the girl as a frumpy cunt instead of the looker with a killer body that the girl is.
Even as a teenager, you were always such a cock-tease. A virgin sexpot, who never put out. Now. Look at you. All grownup. No longer untouched. Looks gone. No longer a sexpot. You’re a frumpy cunt, just like me. You’re profoundly unattractive. Who’d notice you, now? No one, but me, that’s who. And. You’re all mine. To do with as I please. I will enjoy sodomizing you with a broom, ramming it up you snatch and your rectum. Eating your pussy and your ass. Sitting on your face. All those vile things and so much worse. All things come to those who wait. And. I’ve waited so long to go around the world with you. All the way nasty. Almost every night I dream of doing you nasty. You’re worth any penance levied against me for the sins I intend to commit with you.
“Are you wearing it?” Sister Edy asks. Her voice trembling with excitement. As she envisions Karen wearing that hideous strap-on. A device that transforms Karen into a she-male, just like she was born.
Crack! Sister Edy bitch-slaps the girl. The loud, violent strike echoes in the otherwise empty chapel.
The nun’s breathe reeks of cheap liquor and unfulfilled desire. She’s bitter and old, and twisted by her hate. She likes to drink. And when she drinks, she’s a mean drunk.
Now, she has another flesh-n-blood reason to rejoice. For two days, she will have living, breathing companionship [in the form of this girl] to take out all of her pent-up frustrations on. This fake version of the former Catholic schoolgirl from her past will be physically abused, degraded, and disciplined by her own hand. Kicked, beaten, slapped, and punched, and other punishments unnamed and sickly applied. Just like she punished so many boys and girls back in the good old days of the Archdiocese.
“Say it right!”
“Yes, headmistress, I am wearing it.”
“Better. Much better.”
I was born a freak. That device you’re wearing has made you into a freak. But. That’s temporary. You can easily remove it. It would be so much better. Ideal, I’d say. If the device were surgically attached to your body in a way that you couldn’t ever remove it. Perfection!
The parish is in such dire shape. Sister Edy is the only nun living in the parish convent, these days. In point of fact. Excluding the convent and the chapel. All of the remaining parish buildings are unoccupied and boarded up. She’s the last holdout. When she dies, the parish will be officially closed.
Back when the real Karen attended parochial school here, this was a thriving parish. And the surrounding neighborhood was very affluent and very Catholic. None of which is true, anymore.
This vile, wretched bitch will suffer my merciless wrath, be degraded, for all the things that have gone wrong in my life!