— Posted in The Last of Us, Vampire Noir

The Last of Us [Rum and Relaxation]

Spain’s Unidad de Operaciones Especiales — or the Naval Special Warfare Force, as it has been known since 2009 — has long been one of Europe’s most-respected Special Forces. Established as the volunteer Amphibious Climbing Company unit in 1952, it has since become an elite fighting force.

Earning the UOE green beret, however, is a quite a challenge — the failure rate of candidates is around 70% to 80%. It’s not uncommon for 100% of would-be new recruits to be rejected.


It’s now fifteen hours into Miss Kane’s abduction and coercion as Miss Carson’s newest acolyte. Miss Kane has completely lost her mind. A lunatic wallowing in her boundless insanity.

If Miss Kane’s dirty, unkempt hair were clean and no longer krazed, its yellow-blonde tresses would frame her face and drape her brow, shoulders, and breasts in lush, silky rivers of bright-blonde hair—the closest layered hairdo would be a Rachel, without the faintest hint of a body wave.

Additionally. If the girl pursed her eyeglasses. Deranged sexually repressed spinster would give way to full-blown demented sexpot.

Hairstyle change.

Miss Kane’s hairdo is not a Marion Crane. Nor is it a Rachel. It is a Grune, with the layering of a Rachel, without the faintest hint of a body wave—infusing understated insanity into its overstated dead-straight severity—the bangs are slightly uneven and slightly longer threatening to but never obscuring her vison. It’s called a Brynhildr (also spelled Brunhild, Brünnhilde, Brynhild, and Brunhilda) and pronounced Broom-Hilda.

It’s the haircut sported by Alice Quinn in The Magicians. Alice sports her hair let down into a Brunhilda, while she’s still a human being. She sports a krazed version of the hairdo after she’s changed into a crazy magic rage-demon—that krazed version being the same one that Miss Kane is now sporting.

Coincidence? Probably not. As aforementioned. Mrs. Carson is a rabid fan of both The Magicians book series and the SyFy Channel adaptation. Miss Kane is to be Mrs. Carson’s Sandman who is meant to succumb to some foul end, over and over again, ad nauseam?

As Mrs. Carson’s Sandman, the girl can refer to herself in the first-person or she can choose to refer to herself in the third-person as Miss Kane—and, will do so in the same sentence. Mrs. Carson will only refer to the girl in the third-person as Miss Kane.

As Mrs. Carson’s Sandman, when she does use “intelligible” speech, so called “common speech”, her words will always be spoken with the condescending tone, normally associated with a dominatrix or an arrogant god.

As Mrs. Carson’s Sandman, she seethes with loathing and disdain.

As Mrs. Carson’s Sandman, clicks and hisses are the only sounds that will normally come out of the girl’s mouth. Miss Kane will only use “intelligible” speech, when she utterly has to. During a full moon, she will foam at the mouth, and rant and rave incoherently.

As Mrs. Carson’s Sandman, there is an additional restriction upon communication. The girl is forbidden in any situation from using telepathy. It is a restriction that Mrs. Carson imposes on the girl using an iron-clad enchantment, an unbreakable spell that Mrs. Carson imposes on herself as well.

Mrs. Carson reveals much about herself in how she chooses to communicate. Those clicks and hisses of hers are a feral shorthand of Mrs. Carson’s own invention. Their use causes Miss Kane’s pineal gland to enlarge which in turn causes the girl excruciatingly-painful migraines.

Miss Kane can use Mrs. Carson’s private language because of a spell the old lady cast on her. One of many spells cast by Mrs. Carson on her, once she became Mrs. Carson’s acolyte.

Mrs. Carson values her privacy and her secrecy, and her verbal shorthand feeds her craving for both in spades. She can talk to herself or her coerced acolyte, and no one can eavesdrop on the conversation.

While on duty. In the service of Mrs. Carson. Miss Kane can indulge her debauchery, addictions, and insanity in the course of fulfilling her duties as a Sandman. It’s as if she’s on a binge while she’s on the clock, so to speak—periods of lucidity and sobriety alternating with periods of insanity when she can also be stoned and drunk—periods in sync with Mrs. Carson’s.

They move into the oldest part of the city. The part left over from when it was the capital city of the old, indigenous Martian empire.

Millennia ago, Mars had an Earth-like climate home to animal and plant life, and the intelligent life was as advanced as the ancient Egyptians on Earth.

There were three competing humanoid civilizations—i.e., the Martian Empire and two independent city states. One of those city states was located in Cydonia region where the infamous, and later discredited, “face of Mars” is found. The other city state was located in a region called Galaxias Chaos.

According to Dr. John Brandenburg’s hypothesis of Mars as the site of an ancient planetary nuclear massacre. Supposed nuclear explosions wiped out the civilizations at Cydonia Mensa and at Galaxias Chaos. Thus making extinct two indigenous Martian races—i.e., the Cydonians and Utopians.

The now defunct Martian Empire was proven to not be the culprit. Although, it benefited greatly from the untimely demise of its competitors. Nor has anyone else in the universe of this Sol System proven to be the annihilators of the Cydonians and Utopians.

In short. According to Dr. Brandenburg. Two ancient Martian civilizations were wiped out by unknown, nuclear bomb-wielding aliens who originated from outside the universe of this Solar System.

Dr. Brandenburg is a plasma physicist who has spent any number of years with Ultra Violet security clearance. [Also] worked in the privatized Space Program, so he’s XJPL. He’s worked on the Clementine mission. He’s worked in some of the companies that have fed into the Reagan Star Wars program. That’s been his career.

“You were warned before to not come back. And, here you are back again. This time in the company of some scrawny, buxom, blue-eyed character who will now share the same tragic fate as you, old and useless goddess of Mars.”

This disembodied, female voice seems to emanate from nowhere in particular. It has an accent. The accent is Martian.

Mrs. Carson incants something. Invoking the arcane symbols that cover the inside of the locker where Miss Kane’s outfit is stored. Miss Kane begins to vibrate as if she’s the “Scarlet Speedster” The Flash phasing through a wall.

When the girl stops vibrating, she is clean and pristine. For example. Again, she has a perfect manicure and a pedicure. She’s again wearing her perls, Koo, push-up bra, thong, careys, and prudz, in place of her baglady attire. Phone, holster, and phone are clipped to the waistband of her skirt. No eyeglasses. Her hair is worn down in a Brynhildr. She’s no longer deranged, stoned, or drunk. She’s sober.