— Posted in The Last of Us, Vampire Noir

The Last of Us [MCORN – Martian Congressional Republic Navy]

Her best guess is that there are safeguards and effective countermeasures built into the edifice she’s not aware of, which can be deployed to take down an unwanted guest [i.e., an intruder].

As Mondo rounds that final corner, no one in sight, the door to Elena’s the office where their meeting is to be held is straight ahead, one of those effective countermeasures is brought to bear against Mondo. It stops her dead in her tracks. Temporarily immobilizing her. Then. She swoons and drops to the floor. Twitching and foaming at the mouth in the midst of a grand mal seizure. Then. She simply goes still as if she’s a corpse, because she is one. Mondo is dead, having broken her own limbs and fractured her own skull; such is the violence of her seizure.

Elena emerges from her office along with the other heads of security who were to be at this supposed morning meeting Mondo was to attend.

The current president of the LC, along with her aid, emerges from her own office as if on cue.

Elena walks over to Mondo, stands over the deceased, and spits on the corpse. Disgust and loathing paints her face.

“It is done. Dispose of the body as you wish.” Elena proclaims, loudly. But. Nothing happens. Then, she adds. “You may enter.”

As if out of thin air, MACOs [pronounced “MAY-ko”] shouldering high-compression phase rifles materialize in the hallway. Including their gloves and boots, they are wearing the grey form-fitting biomechanical Kevlar that’s trademark of MACOs. Body armor which is equivalent [in protection] to a Koo. Body armor that’s equipped with the very latest in Predator active camouflage which allows the soldiers to evade visual detection.

Smiling, literally, from ear to ear, Elena steps away from Mondo’s body.

The warriors du jour of the United Nations. Military Assault Command Operations [commonly abbreviated as MACO] is a military organization of the UN put into service just prior to the official founding of the Martian Democratic Republic (MDR), and a full year after the UN created Starfleet. Starfleet and MACO are independent UN entities.

The United Nations Initiative [or UNI], is known commonly as Starfleet. Starfleet is the deep-space exploratory, peacekeeping, investigative, and military “service” maintained by the United Nations. It is the principal means by which the UN conducts its exploration, defense, diplomacy, international law enforcement, and research.

MACO is purely military, possibly in anticipatory response to the establishment of the MDR, although the UN officially denies that.

To date, the MDR has steadfastly refused to join the United Nations. This comes as no surprise to anyone. But. Where their mutual interests are at stake. The MDR and the UN will officially and unofficially work together.

MACO soldiers are often outfitted with a diverse set of accessories and weapons. Including a hard-shell backpack, of a similar design as used by Starfleet, to carry additional equipment and/or armament. An equipment belt is normally worn for carrying the standard-issue stun baton, stun grenades, plasma grenades, a holstered pistol-grip Taser, a holstered high-compression phase pistol, spare phaser charge magazines, a secure comm, and a hand scanner. The equipment belt can be setup for right-handed, left-handed, and ambidextrous operators, as well as for custom preferences.

The UN space marines take charge of the dead body. But, they don’t disappear. They are waiting for confirmation of egress, just like they waited for confirmation of ingress.

It’s the president of the LC who utters the egress confirmation.

“Leave, now.”

The soldiers do as they are commanded.


Six hours later, a mile beneath the surface of Mars, Mondo resurrects …


Where? A very white non-descript room, two chairs, and a table. Everything is very white and non-descript, and none of it is nascent.

Who? Mondo sits in one chair. Across from her sits Ms. Helga “Agnes” Schmidt, civilian police detective, ostensively here on behalf of JAG (Judge Advocate General of the Navy). But. She reeks of being a ranking officer with the military intelligence arm of the Martian Military Police Force (MMPF), because she once was.

And then there is the matter of the one-way glass set into one of the room’s walls. On the other side of that mirror is an observation room. There are two observers. Both of the observers are female. One is a visiting VIP, General Carol Banks. General Banks is a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for the MDR. The other woman is Professor Thelma Hopkins, the director of scientific operations for this clandestine MCORN facility.

MCORN is the Martian Congressional Republic Navy (MCORN), the Martian government’s equivalent of Starfleet.

Mondo was abducted by the UN to be handed over to the Martian government. All done with the permission and consent of LC officials. She is not restrained. And, she still has her phone, holster, and purse.

The girl has no idea of what her exact location is. She licks Elena’s spit off of her face. Elena’s saliva contains a short, encoded, biological message. As Mondo’s tongue whips back into her mouth, the message decodes.

“Proceed with caution. They claim you’ve been implicated in a murder with the MO of Simon Angel.”

For most of Frau Schmidt’s very short career as a thespian, the fifty-something divorcee was known as Jana Svandova, a decidedly-unattractive character actress with an American New England accent. In real life, Frau Schmidt has a thick Prussian accent.

In the sleazy B-movie “Chained Heat 2”, she portrayed sadistic shrew bulldagger Rosa Schmidt; a reality, look, and screen persona which was her true persona in real life.

Except for one deviation in body type [namely height] … Frau Schmidt is the spitting image of Rosa Klebb, the fictitious KGB colonel in From Russia with Love, the 1963 entry in the James Bond spy series. Therefore, Frau Schmidt is neither attractive nor is she very feminine-looking. She’s human, but long-lived, and she has extensively “altered” herself. Frau Schmidt is obsessive-compulsive when it comes to Kum, and it’s rumored that her insatiable Kum craving dictates her self-alterations.

Unlike the fictitious Frau Klebb, Frau Schmidt is tall as opposed to short. But … that Rosa Klebb’s squatness translates directly into Frau Schmidt’s solidness. Her solidness is not the fitness of a female fitness model: ala WWF’s Trish Stratus—a fit body with teasing hints of muscularity. It is the thickness of a female bodybuilder, not a Goon. Think: Joanie Laurer, WWF’s Chyna—a fit body with muscular overtones [female bodybuilder] vs. overtures of muscularity [Goon].

Therefore, in appearance, Frau Schmidt represents the anti-feminine: tall and solid, with thick legs and very strong calves for a woman—overtly masculine in manner with a deep [for a woman], raspy voice. Her sternns, dykish moe, and strictured Kaye, complemented by drab khaki stockings, contribute to create an overall impression of a grotesquely deviant femininity. Furthermore, and expectedly … She eschews heels, preferring flats. Never wears a bra. Heavy, harsh, unbecoming makeup. Wears uncircumcised Parts, preferring to be a she-male. And always wears gloves [prudz] in public.

Frau Schmidt’s gender-bending look explains Mondo’s fixation on her. A look that fuels the girl’s fascination with the dyke. Mondo wantonly stares at Frau Schmidt like she’s a Kum in human form, like she’s a human-Kum merger.

Likewise, Frau Schmidt looks at Mondo covetously—i.e., the leggy, buxom blonde she craves to possess. Frau Schmidt has been married six times, and Mondo is the likeness of every wife she has ever had and every woman she’s ever committed adultery with. Mondo is, most definitely, Frau Schmidt’s ideal physical type. But. She craves them girlie-looking, which Mondo senses.

So. To maximize her physical attractiveness to Frau Schmidt, and be more than just Frau Schmidt’s ideal physical type and become Frau Schmidt’s physical fantasy as well. Mondo lets her hair down and purses her eyeglasses. Becoming again that perfect cross between June Wilkinson “The Bosom” and Miss Debra “Queen Debra” of the WWF/WWE.

“I would like to fuck you later, Fraulein Kane.”

“Sounds like a plan, Frau Schmidt.”


Mondo opens her mouth wide enough to let Frau Schmidt see her tongue whipping about like a snake in heat. In response, Frau Schmidt reaches underneath the table and rests her hand open the girl’s knee.

“Are you hung?” Mondo asks, in response to Frau Schmidt’s welcome sexual advances. Her words laced with nervous anticipation.

“Like a horse.”

With the pleasantries out of the way. Mondo decides it’s time to stop beating around the bush.

“You humans lied to my people. There’s no evidence of my involvement in this murder.”

“Correct. And, we assume that they suspect as much. But. With no hard evidence to prove otherwise and with the strong circumstantial evidence that we presented against you, they had to honor our claim, per ROE.”

“Circumstantial evidence that you’d fabricated.”

“Correct, again.” Frau Schmidt smiles gruesomely and adds: “And. Before we get too deep into it. I must comment on Councilwoman Elster’s performance back there.”

“Whack away.”

“When the councilwoman spat on your corpse, disgust and loathing painting her face … I knew it was all pure theater. But. I ate it up, nonetheless.  She really missed her calling. She should have been an actress.”

“Well, now that we understand each other. Let’s visit the crime scene.”


The butch Frau Schmidt is, most definitely, one of Mondo’s ideal physical types as well as one of Mondo’s physical fantasies. Trysting with Frau Schmidt as payment in trade for services rendered, will be so delicious for this very sick and twisted girl.

When they fuck later, Frau Schmidt will insist that Mondo wears her uncircumcised strap-on. And, Frau Schmidt will try and convince the girl to wear her Parts in place of her panties for the duration of the case. Frau Schmidt additionally prefers girlie chicks with dicks, who are girlie chicks.