— Posted in Code Dead, Vampire Noir

Code Dead – The intermission between “Glenda” and “I, The Jury” [Chapter 4, Part 2]

Supermodel Marisa Miller embodies Jeff Bridges in the movie R.I.P.D. She’s his avatar. Likewise, here … ADA Onatopp is the avatar of Madam Wu. Mondo finds this forced servitude [of Onatopp by Wu] to be quite the [sexual] turn-on, on par with any [clothed] lesbian mutual masturbation scene straight out of one of those trashy provocative 1950’s WIP movies that the Vampire so loves to watch on lazy Sunday afternoons.

The boxing analogy, and there’s always one where Mondo is concerned, involves one of her all-time favorite pugilists, Paulie “The Magic Man” Malignaggi. Paulie Malignaggi: Almost Great. Paulie has limited power, but he is undeniably an elite boxer. And, statistically speaking, Paulie has the best jab in boxing: he throws it more than anyone else, and he lands it more than anyone else. In the 6th round of his fight against Zab Judah, Showtime’s stats had Paulie throwing 32 jabs and landing half of them. This is unheard of. Totally absurd, is an even better way to describe it.

He doesn’t have the “best” jab in boxing, but he understands the importance of it and he uses it to his advantage better than almost anyone else. Particularly in the Adrien Broner and Vyacheslav Senchenko fights, Malignaggi was keen to lead with the jab and throw a large arsenal of punches behind it in beautiful combinations.

Paulie looked uncharacteristically old in his first defense against Pablo Cesar Cano, but then came out against Adrien Broner as a heavy underdog and once more did what he always does. Although he dropped a split, critics and armchair fans alike ignorantly called it “the performance of his lifetime”. Not really – it was just standard Paulie. He most recently went into the Judah fight as a slight underdog, because for some reason people still didn’t understand that, unless you’re a relentless come-forward fighter like Hatton or Cotto, or a lightning-fast, voluminous puncher like Amir Khan, Paulie Malignaggi will outbox you. And, yes, Broner did deservedly win, but Broner does “seem” to be a special talent [as much as that pains many to say, because he’s also a terrible human being] and Paulie did outbox Broner for most of the fight. So Paulie out-boxed Judah for every minute of the twelve rounds and has maybe finally got some credit.

It’s kind of interesting to think that if Paulie was able to add a little sting to his shots, then very few people at Welterweight would be able to mess with him. However, whilst it may be interesting it’s also pointless to speculate, so instead let’s proceed to assess the reality of Paulie’s situation, and look at his options. 147 is probably boxing’s most dangerous division, right now. He’s said he wants the winner of the Broner-Maidana fight, but this is a big risk. He would easily outbox Maidana, because although Maidana is a come-forward fighter like Hatton and Cotto, Maidana falls a few steps short of their greatness: Maidana doesn’t have Hatton’s footwork or Cotto’s clinical accuracy. On the other hand, if Broner beats Maidana then Broner would beat Malignaggi too, only more decisively this second time around. Why, decisively? Because … Broner would be properly settled into the division, would have more 12 round experiences, and probably wouldn’t so foolishly underestimate Malignaggi again.

Humans have pit bulls, Vampires have Werewolves, and Dragons have their 456. Plus, Madam Wu is the Vampire’s elder and this venue is totally the Dragon’s. There is nothing in the Lost’s favor. She has her back to the wall, and is between the proverbial rock and a hard place. So, Mondo is the one with the limited power who must make expert use of her jab, so to speak. And her jab has to be characterized by high quality as well as high volume.

What’s a girl to do? The lazy-suzan in the center of the table manifests itself with mouthwatering appetizers—finger Food so fresh that it’s still moving. The Vampire’s response is? A smile that always bespeaks of loathing and disdain [even though that is not its wearer’s intent] paints the face of this evil harpy – a large, ugly, curved mouth, with downturned corners, is now even more unbecoming. The Dragon has offered an olive branch of sorts. All is not lost—forward into the breach. Mondo audibly crosses and uncrosses her flawless legs underneath the table. The Madam Wu smiles in response to the salaciously sound of bare, creamy-white flesh sliding across bare, creamy-white flesh.

Even with blonde hair, very blonde hair, very yellow blonde hair, bright electric acid-dipped blonde hair, Mondo’s ultra-flaxen tresses fail to soften her “hard” features one iota. This of course makes our favorite bloodsucker so comely and captivating to Madam Wu. Such a harsh feminine countenance this girl has, a hard “pretty” face framed by straight severe hair the color of raw wheat—a diehard bulldyke’s wet dream, in undead flesh—the complete and utter antithesis of the wholesome looking girl next door—the unliving embodiment, the epitome of a dyed-in-the-wool misandrist’s all-encompassing two-legged erotic fantasy—a typical leading lady in “roughies”, especially those of noted sexploitation directors Doris Wishman and Russ Meyer, Lorna (1964) by Russ Meyer is widely considered to be the first roughie.

Of course, Madam Wu is neither a bulldyke nor is she a practitioner of misandry in any way, shape, or form; misandry being that hatred or intense dislike of males of any persuasion. Misandry can be manifested in numerous ways that have their parallel in misogyny including sexual discrimination, denigration of males, violence against males, and sexual objectification of males. Ms. Warrentta Farrell has written of how males are uniquely marginalized in what this leading feminist and out of the closet lesbian calls their “disposability”, the manner in which the most dangerous of societies’ jobs throughout history, particularly soldiering, have been left for males to perform. Of course, the male counterpart of misandry is misogyny: the hatred or intense dislike of females of any persuasion. The antonym of misandry is philandry: the love or fondness of males of any persuasion.

Sexploitation, or “sex-exploitation”, describes a class of independently produced, low-budget feature films generally associated with the 1960s, and serving largely as a vehicle for the exhibition of non-explicit sexual situations and gratuitous nudity. The genre is a subgenre of exploitation films. Sexploitation films were generally exhibited in urban grindhouse theatres, the precursor to the adult movie theatres of the ‘70s and ‘80s that featured hardcore content. The term soft-core is often used to designate non-explicit sexploitation films after the general legalization of hardcore content. Nudist films are often considered to be subgenres of the sex-exploitation genre as well. “Nudie” films and “Nudie-cuties” are associated genres. Nudie cuties have been largely supplanted by “roughies”, which commonly feature male [or female] violence against women [or men], including kidnapping, rape, and murder.

And considering Madam Wu’s well-known proclivities, it’s no wonder that things are playing out more and more like a vintage roughie. Mondo’s hair yanks up and back into a sternka, baring her knobb. Prudz glove her hands; hands which klaw when idle. Akin to the very unbecoming way that Madam Wu always wears makeup, her makeup becomes appropriately stilted and heavily applied. The finishing touch is when Mondo slips on those dowdy sternns of hers. Madam Wu audibly sighs!

Madam Wu leans forward ever so little, quite subtly in fact, and the two girls lock glances for a very long time, and no one dares interrupt their prolonged stare. When they do break their look lock, the food has been served and everybody else seated at the table is already eating. ADA Onatopp is still just standing there waiting for the proceedings to begin at Madam Wu’s behest.