Becky is Better, The Complete Season One Episodes

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Click on either image of fighter Gina Carano, to read the Season One episodes of Becky is Better from The Endless Night Collection … Enjoy … 🙂

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I, The Jury [Book 04]

June Wilkinson is Mondo Kane in "I, The Jury"

June Wilkinson is Mondo Kane in “I, The Jury”

Click on the image of June Wilkinson, to read Book 04 of The Endless Night Collection … Enjoy … 🙂

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Code Dead [Book 03]

Sunglasses After Dark, The Dark Side of the Rainbow - Issue #4

Sunglasses After Dark, The Dark Side of the Rainbow – Issue #4

Click on the image of Sunglasses After Dark, to read Book 03 of The Endless Night Collection … Enjoy … 🙂

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Glenda [Book 02]

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Click on the image of Jenny McCarthy, to read Book 02 of The Endless Night Collection … Enjoy … 🙂

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Fight Like A Girl, The Complete Episodes [Book 00]

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Click on any of the images of boxer Natalya Ragozina, to read Book 00 of The Endless Night Collection … Enjoy … 🙂

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The Last of Us [Murder at The Dakota]

72094a70-d7ed-11e4-9748-3fd77e204473_8409531487_c93dacf41f_kConsidered Manhattan’s most exclusive building, the Dakota is a co-op built in 1884 on the corner of 72nd Street and Central Park West on the Upper West Side. John Lennon was murdered outside in 1980, and his widow, Yoko Ono, still lives in their apartment. The building was also the setting for Roman Polanski’s classic 1968 creeper, “Rosemary’s Baby.”

The perfect setting for an old-fashioned, “dead body in a locked room” whodunit.

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The Endless Night, The First 16 Pages – [an excerpt from IUP, Book 01]

Poisen Elves

Be careful what you wish for … sometimes you get it

Click on the image of Jenny Miller, Mondo’s BFF, to read the pages … Enjoy … 🙂

 

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CSL! The ‘Welcome Back My Friends to the Show that Never Ends’ edition

WWE may have phoned it in last night, but Geno & Sean would never do that to you! Alright, we totally would – and have – but not today! The question is, how much will a more-of-the-same Raw inspire us to talk about wrestling?

For more actual pro graps coverage, head to www.cagesideseats.com

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Quote for the Day, Thursday September 29, 2016

Life oftentimes reminds me of a quote from an old movie:

“When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It’s rather sad, really, but there it is.”

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Hot pics of June Wilkinson from eBay

8x8-pic-june-wilkinson-relaxes-in-the-buff-in-bed-dp-0355 pic-super-hot-june-wilkinson-dries-off-after-a-hot-shower-dp-0354 sexy-june-wilkinson-actress-pin-up-photo-postcard-publisher-rwp-2003-05 sexy-june-wilkinson-actress-pin-up-photo-postcard-publisher-rwp-2003-06

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Dr Zimmerman’s Tuesday Tip — 6 Do’s (and 4 Don’ts) for Difficult People

Tuesday Tip

Difficult People

6 Do’s (and 4 Don’ts) for Difficult People

As much as you would like it otherwise, your world is bound to have its fair share of difficult people. More specifically, those I like to call C-people.

And no, I don’t mean C-level people, like CHIEF Executive Officers or CHIEF Operations Officers.

I’m talking about difficult people that have one or more of the five C characteristics.  They’re Cheap, Crabby, Critical, Complaining, or Cruel.  These difficult people make your life and your work quite unpleasant, if not a living hell, if you don’t know how to deal with them.

Unfortunately, most people’s education and training when it comes to conflict, conflict resolution, and difficult people amounts to a great big zero.

So they try to ignore it or joke about it, neither of which resolves anything.

The comedian W.C. Fields, when asked about conflict, said, “Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.”

Stand-up comic George Carlin said, “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”

And English musician and actor Jeremy Limb noted, “The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into a store and punched someone in the face.”

When they said those comments, they might have been funny.  But in the light of our recent daily news of shootings, bombings, riots and a host of other violent events, it’s hard to see much humor in comments like that.

It’s time we learn HOW to deal with difficult people and difficult situations.  Our very survival may depend on it.

Here are six Do’s and 4 Don’ts that will move all of us in that direction.  We’ll start with what you shouldn’t do when dealing with difficult people.

Don’t #1: Don’t automatically assume you’re right and the other person is wrong.

The old slogan still holds true.  If you automatically assume you’re right and the other person is wrong, more often than not, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

I’ll never forget the time I walked into my daughter’s bedroom to see her crayon marks all over the floor.  I was ticked and immediately shared some rather unkind remarks and put her in time out.  When I cooled down and asked her why she made that mess, with tearful eyes and a choking voice, she said, “Daddy, I was trying to draw you a picture to let you how much I love you.”

I had fallen into the despicable trap of automatically assuming I understood the situation, assumed I was right, and dished out the consequences.  And I damaged our relationship as a result … at least for a little while.

Do you ever do that?

  • Do you instantly assume your colleague’s remark was out of line at the staff meeting?
  • That your boss was a jerk for correcting your tardiness?
  • That your partner is much too selfish?
  • And a thousand other assumptions?

Probably yes.

If so, be careful.  When you automatically think you’re right, you tend to focus your energy on getting even or getting the other person to admit he/she was wrong.  And that approach seldom works, especially not with difficult people.  All your energy gets focused on who’s right and who’s wrong … instead of what you’re going to do resolve the situation.

By the same token, on the reverse…

Don’t #2: Don’t automatically assume you’re messed up and can’t change.

If your self-esteem is weak, you can easily jump to the conclusion that everything’s your fault when conflict arises with difficult people.

That’s why I start my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program with a regimen that cements a person’s self-esteem into great shape.  Ian Robson from LloydsTSB Bank in London reported that. Ian writes,

“My life is fantastic, and I have really changed for the better since I attended your course. I have learned so much about myself and feel positive, energized and in control. You kick-started my journey to success in all aspects of my life and provided me with the knowledge and skills to be free of worry and anxiety while I continue to achieve more and more success. And your self-esteem building exercise is nothing short of fantastic.”

Not all people are as fortunate as Ian.  As he continued in his note to me, he told me how he used the Journey to help a colleague of his. In his words,

“A colleague came to me for some advice. She was extremely unhappy in her work and couldn’t seem to do anything right in her manager’s eyes.  So she had decided to take a down grade and give up her role as team leader. I could not believe it. This was a person who used to work for me a couple of years ago and she was fantastic, but she had since lost all confidence in her ability.”

“Your Journey program taught me that by changing your attitude you can achieve great things and I told my colleague about how your course had helped me.  In particular, I showed her how to stop her Mind Binders, reviewed my Journey workbook with her, and gave her a copy of your PIVOT book to read because I knew it would help her.”

“The next day my colleague came rushing up to me and said your PIVOT book was amazing.  She couldn’t put it down and read it from cover to cover, realizing it was her negative attitude that made her give up her job.  She had made a mistake handing in her notice and had decided to work on her self-esteem, improve her attitude, and then see her boss in hopes of getting her job back.”

It worked.  She got herself together … which is the same thing you have to do if you want to resolve conflicts more effectively.  Instead of assuming the other person is automatically at fault or you’re all screwed up, get off the blame game and get on with the work of being an effective, empowered, self-respecting communicator.

Later Ian’s colleague sent me a personal note from London.  Sharon said, “After a couple of meetings with my manager, he agreed to support me and I decided to remain as a team leader.”

But the story continued.  Sharon says,

“It has only been a month since I started using your Journey techniques that Ian passed on to me, but my colleagues have already commented on how different and confident I seem to be and how much we, as a team,  have achieved in a month compared to the whole of last year.  It even gave me the confidence to apply for a new job which is something that I haven’t done for 18 years. I have recommended your PIVOT book and Journey course to other people as the results for me have been amazing.”

You can pick up your copy of PIVOT on Amazon (with free Amazon Prime shipping) byclicking here.

And if you want to join my next Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program coming to Chicago, IL on November 10-11, 2016 and save $500 on your registration, just click here.

Don’t #3: Don’t ignore feelings.

Some people mistakenly think they can resolve their conflicts by simply sticking to the facts.  They might even chide one another, saying such things as, “Now don’t get all emotional on me.”

The truth is your feelings are always a part of the problem. They may even be the core of the problem. So they shouldn’t be ignored.

For example, you may have a lazy team member who is not pulling his weight. That’s a part of the problem. But you’re probably feeling resentful about it. That’s also a part of the problem.

Don’t #4: Don’t stuff your feelings … forever.

There are times you have to walk away from conversations with difficult people. You don’t have the time to confront your boss, coworker, or spouse every time they tick you off.

But if walking away is your response most of the time, you’re on the wrong track. Your feelings will fester. And in the long run, if you don’t raise important issues and have those difficult conversations, your feelings will come out some way or another, almost certainly in a way that will inflict more damage than if you had had a decent conversation.  Just make sure you do it correctly.

So what should you do when you’re faced with a difficult conversation?

Do #1: Know your purpose.

NASA would never shoot off a rocket before they decided the purpose of their mission. And you should never enter a difficult conversation without first considering what you hope to accomplish.

It’s not enough to think, “I just want to get something out in the open.” or “We just need to talk.”  Your purpose is too vague and in having conversations with difficult people, your results will be disappointing.

Your purpose needs to be specific and forward-looking. Maybe you want the other person to clearly understand your position. Maybe you want the other person to apologize. Or, maybe you want to work out some kind of compromise for the problem facing the two if you. You’ve got to know the result you’re seeking before you open your mouth.

Do #2: Ask more questions. Make fewer statements.

If you were to read the transcript of a difficult conversation that wasn’t going well, you’d notice one glaring imbalance. The two parties would be making lots of arguments, stating their points of view over and over again.

In fact, research indicates that would be a recipe for disaster. Ineffective conversations are 90% advocacy and 10% inquiry. In other words, the combatants talk too much and ask too little.

One of the first things you’ve got to do to get through a difficult conversation is to understand how the two of you see things differently. That requires lots of questions.

Do #3: Prepare for difficult reactions from difficult people.

When you bring up touchy topics (especially around difficult people), the other person may react in ways that are quite uncomfortable for you. The other person may cry, get angry, or withdraw. The other person might turn the tables and accuse you of being unfair. He may even reject you.

You’ve got to know which reactions are the toughest for you to deal with. And then plan out — in advance — how you will respond to those tears, outbursts, putdowns, or silent treatments.  Plan out the most positive, professional, and yet self-empowered reactions you could possibly give.

If you do that, your chances of moving the conversation in a healthy direction improve dramatically.  If, on the other hand, you simply wing it and don’t bother to prepare, then I suggest prayer.  You’ll need it.

Do #4: Cut yourself some slack.

Don’t expect to handle difficult people and every difficult conversation with ease, poise, and eloquence. At the beginning of the conversation, you may be tongue-tied, scared, and inarticulate.

That’s okay. Your goal is not eloquence. It’s openness and honesty. And like any other skill, you will get better with practice.

Do #5: Look for the “third side.”

You’ve always heard there are “two sides to every story.” That’s not true. Every story hasthree sides.

The third side is neither your story nor the other person’s story. Instead, it’s the story an impartial mediator would tell about what’s going on. It’s how he might describe the issues going on between the two of you.

Imagine that you and your coworker Joe are arguing over the handling of customer problems. You think Joe treats customers rather poorly. He is sometimes rude and impatient in his dealing with customers. And Joe thinks you let customers take advantage of you and the company. He thinks you’re a pushover.

If you begin the conversation from your side of the story, you might say, “Joe, we need to talk about the fact that you’re a jerk when it comes to customer service.” Joe is going to be defensive.

And if Joe starts by saying, “You’re a gullible fool, believing everything the customer tells you,”you’re going to be defensive. The two of you are stuck.

So how should you begin? Begin with the third side of the story. It might sound something like this, “It’s obvious we both care about our jobs. And we both want to do what we think is best. But you and I have different approaches to customer service. Let’s see if we can talk about that and agree on some guidelines we could both live with.”

No one will feel attacked. And you’ll be off to a better, smoother start.

Do #6: Re-frame negative comments.

In the midst of a difficult conversation, it’s easy for you and the other person to say things that could totally destroy any progress you’re making. So you’ve got to re-frame those comments in a more neutral or positive light.

That’s what Beth Jennings, a business analyst at one of the largest insurance companies in the country, learned when she attended my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program.  She deals with facts, numbers, and bottom-line results.

So people could have laughed at her when she talked about coming to my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary experience.  And people could have laughed at her when she told them how a few, simple, mind-management techniques can easily and dramatically change your bottom-line results.

But people stopped laughing when she proved her point.  After attending my Journey program, she decided to teach some of my mind-management techniques to her son.  As Beth said, “My son plays baseball and tends to have a negative attitude if he doesn’t have a good game.  In fact, you can physically see how upset he is with himself if he makes an error.   And after that, it all goes downhill.”

“Well on a particular Saturday afternoon, as we were driving to his game, he kept saying he knew he wasn’t going to do well.  In fact, he was on a streak of four games without a hit.  I firmly told him to ‘Stop it.  Let’s try something new today. Let’s talk positively.’

“I asked him to recite out loud with me, ‘I will get a hit today.’  I asked him to just try it for this one game and if it didn’t work I wouldn’t keep hounding him about being positive.  So, all the way to the game, my son and two other children and I were saying, ‘Andrew is going to get a hit today.’”

“I also asked him to tell himself ‘I am going to get a hit today’ as he was on deck, warming up, and stepping to the plate.  I’m happy to report that he actually got three hits during his four times at bat during that game.   And as we were talking about the game on the way home, he told me he was thinking positive every time he was at bat.”

“A week later, at the next game, he went two for three!  As he walked off the field after the game, I said, ‘Great job Andrew.’  And he replied, ‘I said that thing again when I went up to bat!’  And for everyone wondering, his team is on a six-game winning streak!

Beth Jennings learned … and then her kids learned … that if you know how to manage your mind, you can influence your results.  And that principle is true in every part of life and business.

(PS:  My next Journey-to-the-Extraordinary experience will be in Chicago, IL on November 10-11, 2016.  If you register now, you qualify for the $500 Early-Bird Registration DiscountClick here for more information.)

So when you’re in a difficult conversation, learn to re-frame negative comments into positive comments.  It’s powerful.

If your kid, for example, calls you a “jerk,” you could re-frame the comment. You could say,“It sounds like you’re upset about something I did.” Or if you’re a teenager and your parents are labeling you as “irresponsible” for missing your curfew, you could rephrase their criticism by saying, “I appreciate the fact you care about my safety and whether or not my word means anything.”

Any comment from difficult people, no matter how negative, can be re-framed into something more constructive.

Final Thought:  It’s not about who’s right but what’s important.

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The Origin of the Arnold Palmer (Drink)

ESPN 30 for 30 Short
Hosted by Will Arnett

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The Astro-Zombies (1968) Trailer

The Astro-Zombies (1968)

After being fired from the Space Agency, the disgruntled (not to mention crazy) Dr. DeMarco creates an Astroman from a criminal’s dead body. However, he loses control of his creation, which goes on a killing spree, attracting the attention of an international spy ring and the CIA.

“The Astro-Zombies” “The Astro-Zombies 1968” “The Astro-Zombies movie” “The Astro-Zombies trailer” “The Astro-Zombies psychobilly” “The Astro-Zombies full movie” “Wendell Corey” “John Carradine” “Tom Pace” “Joan Patrick” “Tura Satana” “Rafael Campos” “Joe Hoover” “Victor Izay” “William Bagdad” “Vincent Barbi” “Egon Sirany” “Jean Pirie” “John Hopkins” “Janis Saul” “Wally K. Berns”

 

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Dave Brubeck – Bossa Nova U.S.A. [Hope you’ll like it!]

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Floyd Mayweather Jr : A master lesson in trash talking – Schooled – How to Troll.

Fighting Floyd Mayweather is a funky cold dose of reality, a master troll, a statesmen in trash talking.

‘I’m a gorilla I’m a dog. im a dog, im a gorilla’ – fmj

Boxing (sport): Is Floyd Mayweather Jr. the greatest boxer of all time?
https://www.quora.com/Boxing-sport-Is…

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bestnews.com.au – boxing floyd, ufc mma news

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Beijing–The Super City– “Big Short Pants”: What life is like in China’s rapidly growing capital city / 北京 – 超级City–“大短裤”:什么生活就像在中国快速发展的省会城市

The Washington Post

Photos By Michael Robinson Chavez

Original Source

Beijing’s modern architecture, including the China Central Television building, is one of the city’s hallmarks. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Beijing’s skyline of apartment blocks stretches to the horizon. Real estate prices in the Chinese capital are among the highest in the world. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Beijingers call it “Big Short Pants,” and it is hard to miss. The gleaming glass tower, home to China Central Television, is one of many modern buildings dominating the capital city’s ever-expanding skyline. By the looks of things, the description of the tower is pretty accurate. So is the term “supercity,” which city officials are planning to call Beijing as it merges with nearby Tianjin. The population will exceed 130 million.

Beijing is known for the Forbidden City, ancient temples, Olympic stadiums and unforgiving pollution. It also has some of the most expensive real estate in the world. Residents have begun moving farther and farther out to find affordable housing, even if it means brutal commute times or overcrowded subway rides.

The city is becoming a hub for technology and is trying to shed its image as a bureaucratic banality. (Shanghai has always been seen as the hipper, more cosmopolitan Chinese city.) Among Beijing’s endless cement apartment towers are testaments of Beijingers’ love for late nights, brightly lit restaurants and line dancing. The Beijing sense of humor is also on display, an essential quality to make it day by day in China’s future supercity.

Diners, families and tourists mingle along Beijing’s famous “Ghost Street” in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

A couple enjoy one another’s company as a karaoke crooner sings inside a Beijing restaurant in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

A cook grabs a quick meal outside one of Beijing’s restaurants in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

An outdoor escalator in the Chaoyang district of Beijing. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Development is evident throughout Beijing with new towers going up. A state security guard mans a gate at a media center in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

A truck driver hauls signs advertising Intel microchips ready for delivery in May. The tech business has boomed in Beijing. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

A woman takes a rest in a square in May near Beijing’s Drum Tower. The sheer scale of the city and population can be exhausting. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Commuters make their way across a pedestrian bridge at the end of the day. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Line-dancing clubs are hugely popular throughout China. A group of women do their routine in front of the ancient Bell Tower in the old district of Beijing in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Beijing’s explosive urban growth has earned the city a reputation for brutal smog and pollution. A man drinks water during a smoggy morning at Tiananmen Square in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

China has recently relaxed its “one-child” policy that was used to control a burgeoning population. A couple poses for a wedding photo in an old quarter of Beijing in May. (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

Beijing’s growth is accelerating with the city planning to merge with Tianjin to form a 130 million-population “supercity.” (Michael Robinson Chavez/The Washington Post)

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Dr Zimmerman’s Tuesday Tip — The Greatest Secret in Emotional Intelligence

Tuesday Tip

emotional intelligence

The Greatest Secret in Emotional Intelligence

This last weekend was filled with nostalgia and laughter.  The occasion was my high school reunion … preceded by a tour of the grade school I attended and then a tour of the high school I attended.

Even though that seemed like a lifetime ago, and even though I have not been in contact with any of those people over the years, certain people continue to stand out in my heart and mind to this day.  And those same people were the ones who made the reunion well worth the trip across the country to get there.

So what made and continues to make those people so special?  They are the ones who had somehow adopted and lived out the greatest secret in emotional intelligence.  They are the ones who made me feel important.

As the great American humorist, Will Rogers said, “As long as you live, you’ll never find a method as effective in getting through to another person as making that person feel important.” He’s right.

In fact, all the research seems to support Will Rogers’ comment. University professors have studied management philosophies and emotional intelligence for years and everything they discover seems to support the importance of making others feel important.

Of course, the more important question is HOW do you do that?

Rogers was not talking about insincere flattery or con games that butter up the other person. He was simply talking about getting into the habit of recognizing how important people are.  Here is what I suggest and a part of what I teach at my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program.

1. Burn the Importance of Other People Into Your Consciousness.

It’s very difficult to make a business work or get a job done without the cooperation of other people. And it’s almost impossible to have a happy marriage if the partners in that marriage feel less than important.

Unfortunately, all too many conversations deny the importance of other people. Just think about some of the conversations you hear each day — even if you don’t take part in them. I’m sure you’ve sat in the company coffee room and heard people run other people down. You’ve heard such comments as, “That no-good jerk… or… She’s impossible.”

When I was a professor, I was stunned to hear professors say, “Teaching wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the students.” How ridiculous! I thought to myself, “If you don’t think students are important, try keeping your job without them.”

I’ve even heard people say, “My job wouldn’t be so darn right difficult if it weren’t for the customers.” Again, try doing business without them and see where you’ll be.

Yet I’m sure you’re just like me. You go into some stores and you get the distinct feeling from the salespeople that you’re bothering them or interrupting them. They haven’t figured out the vital step in emotional intelligence of how to make you feel important.

When you make people feel important, however, you get their cooperation. Cavett Robert, the founder of the National Speakers Association, made that clear. As a successful lawyer, salesman, author, and speaker, he became well known for his expertise in the field of human relations.

Robert looked out his window one morning and saw a skinny twelve-year-old boy going door to door selling books. The boy was headed for his house. Robert turned to his wife and said, “Just watch me teach this kid a lesson about selling. After all these years of writing books about communication, lecturing all over the country, I might as well share some of my wisdom with him. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’ll get rid of him before he knows what’s happened.  I’ve used this technique for years, and it works every time. Then I’ll go back and teach him how to deal with people like me.”

Mrs. Robert watched as the 12-year old boy knocked on the door. Mr. Robert opened the door and quickly explained that he was a very busy man. He had no interest in buying any books. But he said, “I’ll give you one minute, but then I have to leave to catch a plane.”

The young salesman was not daunted by Robert’s brush-off. He simply stared at the tall, gray-haired, distinguished looking man, a man that he knew was somewhat famous and quite wealthy. The boy said, “Sir, could you be the famous Cavett Robert?” To which Mr. Robert replied, “Come on in son.”

Mr. Robert bought several books from the youngster — books that he might never read. The boy had mastered the principle of making the other person feel important and it worked. It’s an approach that even the rich and famous or the big and strong can rarely resist.

Never forget the importance of making people feel important … and how powerful it can be.

Emotional intelligence is a part of what I teach at my Journey-to-the-Extraordinaryprogram coming to Chicago, IL on November 10-11, 2016.

Here’s what three participants had to say recently about their experience.

J. T. Meanor from Wright Patterson Air Force Base said, “Your Journey as the most rewarding learning experience I’ve obtained in over 20 years working as a USAF professional engineer and leader.  It’s a tool box for self-improvementand a workbench for building better relationships. Truly the best of the best!”

Tim Ewart, a System Analysis Engineer, also from Wright Patterson Air Force Base, said, “Plain and simple.  Best seminar I’ve ever attended!

And Alice Hardin, a director at LeMaster & Daniels, says, “Your Journey experience was the best program I’ve attended in many years.  It made me look at myself … to really look at myself … and I grew personally as a result.

(PS:  Emotional intelligence is just one of many topics that we will cover in my 2-day Journey experience. If you register for the Journey now, you save $500 on your tuition by claiming your Early-Bird Discount.  Click here for more information and/or register.)

And then…

2. Read the Sign.

All people wear a little, invisible sign around their necks. It says, “Make Me Feel Important.”And the truly effective managers and coworkers do exactly that. They read the signs and act accordingly.

Some time ago I heard a doctor address a group of medical interns who were about to finish their residencies. He asked them, “Do you know who the leading doctor in any community is?” He said, “The leading doctor is the one who is able to make his/her patients feel important. It’s not necessarily the doctor who is the most learned. It’s not necessarily the doctor who is the best surgeon. The leading doctor in almost every community is the one who knows how to make his or her patients FEEL ‘you are important to me’.”

He went on to say a rather provocative thing — I’m sure somewhat tongue-in-cheek. He said, “Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, your patients are going to get well if you don’t give them something to kill them in the meantime. They’ll probably get well if you go in the room, look them in the eye, touch them on the shoulder, ask how they are doing, and really, really listen.”

Certainly that’s a bit of an overstatement. But there is plenty of research in the medical journals to support the doctor’s advice about emotional intelligence. Doctors and nurses who make their patients feel like they care about them have patients that recover much more quickly. They actually heal more rapidly than patients who feel like just another body in a bed.

Despite the research, some health care professionals sometimes talk about their patients as cases rather than as people. I know. I’ve heard the comments when I’ve served as a consultant in various health care facilities. I’ve heard doctors and nurses ask: “How is the broken leg in room 205… or… What’s going on with the kidney in 206?” Sometimes I wonder what would happen if they pulled back the sheets in 206 and simply saw a kidney lying there.

If you decide to adopt this emotionally intelligent practice of making people feel important, you need to…

3. Be Aware of the Downside.

Our culture has a negative, somewhat suspicious streak running through it. So when you attempt to make some people feel important, they wonder what you’re up to. They wonder if you’re trying to con them or butter them up so you can get something out of them. They wonder if they’re really important to you or it’s simply the function they perform that is important.

Will Rogers seemed to know about that suspicion. So he went on to say: “There is a law of relationships just like the law of nature. It’s as difficult to separate the sun from the sunshine as it is to separate the love of your work from the love of the people you work with.”

In other words, love of work and love of coworkers go hand-in-hand. And so does the reverse. If you hate your job, you’ll also dislike your coworkers — to some extent.

4. Say and Do Some Things that Actually Make People Feel Important.

This is not some lazy, pie-in-the-sky, hope-they-get-it kind of skill.  You can’t sit on your butt, say nothing or do nothing.

You’ve actually got to tell people and show people they are important in some way or other.  They’ve got to feel that they and their work are important. But they’ve also got to feel that you care about them as people.

Of course, you may think all this “love” talk is inappropriate for the workplace. Fine. Call it“care,” “concern,” “respect,” “appreciation,” or whatever you like. But you’ve got to have a bit of that emotional-intelligence glue to maximize the effectiveness of any relationship on or off the job.

In fact, I’ll give you an emotional intelligence assignment.  List six ways you can tell or show a coworker that he/she is important. And list six ways you can tell or show that same person that you care about him/her.

Then apply two items from your list each week for the next three weeks. I’ll bet you see a bit more motivation in your coworker and you’ll get a bit more cooperation from him/her.

5. Enjoy the Emotional Intelligence Outcome.

If you were to consciously work on making the people around you feel important and loved, just imagine the difference it would make. Think how different your work day would be if you took time to tell a coworker that you were pleased with the way a job was done or that it had been a pleasure to work with him that day.

Again, emotional intelligence isn’t about empty flattery. I’m talking about sharing your appreciation of jobs well done and the pleasure of being around such good people. The more positives you share, the more others will be affected. And with enough of the positive, you begin to crowd out the petty complaining and gratuitous griping which is the hallmark of so many unhappy, unproductive workplaces.

Of course, you may think it’s easy for me to give this advice. I don’t know the turkeys you have to work with. That is true. But I like the way Will Rogers answered that complaint. He responded by saying, “The Bible says, ‘Love your enemies,’ but just for practice, why not try it on your friends for a little while?”

He was right. People are motivated when they feel important and when they feel cared about. Now go out and do it.

Final Thought:  Your success in any given task will be shaped by the extent to which you love the other people involved in that task.

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Debra distraction moment – 01/11/1999

With Billy Gunn controlling the match, Debra springs into sexy action to help out her men!

11th January 1999
Raw

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Jerry Lewis is back

Classic performances in movies like 1963’s “The Nutty Professor” helped make a legend out of Jerry Lewis. He’s 90 now, looking back – and looking forward, with a new film, as a retired jazz artist in “Mad Rose.” Tracy Smith reports.

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Dr Zimmerman’s Tuesday Tip — 6 Attitudes for Dealing with Difficult People

Tuesday Tip

difficult people

6 Attitudes for Dealing with Difficult People

If you work in a typical organization, you’ve probably got more difficult people floating around than you would like.    Such as the boss who shoots down every suggestion you make.  Or the coworker who quickly dampens the enthusiasm of a new employee by saying, “Wait until you’ve been here for a while and you’ll see how bad things really are.”

If your family is even somewhat normal, you’ve got a few difficult family members as well.  Such as the aunt who’s always got a thousand suggestions as to how you should live your life or what decisions you should make.  And you feel like shouting back, “Would you please just shut up and let me live my own life?”

Well, there are a number of distinguishing characteristics of difficult people, but in essence they have one or more of the five C’s in their behavior.  They’re:

  • Cheap,
  • Crabby,
  • Critical,
  • Complaining, or
  • Cruel.

But I have some great news for you today.  You can adopt six attitudes that will give you the upper hand in dealing with difficult people.  Learn these six attitudes and you will be super empowered.

It’s a small part of what I will be teaching at my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program coming to Chicago, IL on November 10-11, 2016.   And I still have a few of the $500 Early-Bird Registration Discounts available.

If you adopt any one of these six attitudes, you will be much better equipped for dealing with difficult people.  Adopt all six attitudes and you will become empowered to deal with just about anyone at any time.

Sue Reinhart, an Estimating Team Lead at the largest auto insurance company in the U.S. says:

“Even though I attended your Journey program a couple of years ago, I wanted to thank you for recently sending the 5 videos you produced that give a great overview of the 12 secrets taught in the Journey.  I so enjoyed them and they helped to reinforce all the things I learned.  Now it’s my goal to bring all my kids to your Journey.”

(PS:  If you missed out on getting these five free, no-obligation videos that overview the Journey, I would be glad to send them to you.  Click here to get your videos.)

Sue went on to say, “As a result of attending your Journey, I know I’ve changed a lot.  My attitude and outlook are so much more positive and my approach to handling difficult situations has gotten much better.  Thanks for being a positive influence on my life.”

1. Adopt a GRACIOUS Attitude with Difficult People.

Are you gracious enough to admit that you don’t know everything?  That you seldom, if ever, know the whole story?

The reason is simple.  You’ve got some filters in your head.  And those filters only allow you to see certain things.

That’s why four people can witness the same car accident and report very different things. And that’s why the four major TV networks can report on the same event, but they all see it quite differently.

Right now, our country is hugely divided.  Perhaps more so than any time in recent memory.  And people find themselves with difficult people, in hotheaded arguments, almost instantly … because they do not have a GRACIOUS attitude.

For example, if you’re a liberal Democrat, you’re much more likely to accept what another liberal Democrat says. And you’d question whatever a conservative Republican says. You would be able to see all the benefits of the Democratic approach and you could probably list all the things wrong with the Republican’s plan.

Of course, the reverse analogy is just as true.  It’s your filters getting in the way of your seeing the whole truth.

To outsmart your filters, to avoid the ignorance it brings, when you come in contact with a difficult person, remind yourself that you don’t have all the facts.  And be GRACIOUSenough to hear the other person out.

As I teach in my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program, “Avoid evaluation until comprehension is complete.”  It will keep you out of a slew of trouble.

2. Protect Yourself with a NON-DEFENSIVE Attitude.

Most people, maybe even 90% of the people out there will do their best to please you.

But the other 10% have got some messed-up wiring.  They get their kicks out of making you squirm with their difficult behavior.  Well, don’t give them the satisfaction of letting them see you sweat, fidget, fumble, stumble, and stutter.

Now I know some of you can get sucked into the difficult person’s crazy games and want to give them a piece of your mind.  It seems like the natural thing to do.  To defend yourself.

Just don’t do it at that moment.

Certainly, there is a time to defend yourself.  To stand up for yourself.  But it doesn’t work when the other person is in the midst of his crazy making.  He is trying to hurt you or get to you and he is not ready to reason with you.

The way I put on a NON-DEFENSIVE attitude is to imagine my whole body is covered in a nonstick coating.  When the other person does or says something that is really inappropriate, I simply imagine the comment as falling away.  Nothing sticks.  No response is needed.  And more often than not, my lack of response or defensiveness stops the difficult person right in his tracks.

3. Use an EDUCATION Attitude.

When I was speaking at one of many IBM conferences, a Vice-President pulled me aside to share this technique with me.  I found it to be powerfully effective.

He told me he used to get very upset with certain types of people and their behavior. Then one day, it dawned on him,

“Those people are there to teach me something. Those people were put in my path to teach me a lesson. The team member who constantly objects to any and all change, for example, may be there to remind me that my plans will hurt some people. I have to consider people, not just processes.”

I would challenge you to select one or two people that you see as difficult. Then each time you interact with them in the next two weeks, or every time they tick you off, choose the EDUCATION attitude. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this individual?”

4. Deploy an ENTERTAINMENT Attitude.

Peter Walshaw, General Manager of the Hyatt Kings Gate Hotel in Auckland, New Zealand says it beautifully. He says, 99% of the people we have to deal with are pretty good. Reasonable demands, Reasonable work, Reasonable to get along with. But it’s the one percent that drives us crazy.”

Most of us would probably say the same thing about our work situation. However, the secret lies in Walshaw’s next comment. He says, “Treat that one percent like they are there to entertain us!”

How wonderful! Instead of getting upset with a difficult person, look at it as entertainment. When a difficult person comes to you with an unreasonable demand, lighten up. Look at it as show time. Tell yourself, “The curtain’s going up. I wonder what it will be this time.” Look at the other person’s quirks, foibles, and abuses as amusing rather than agitating.

5. Bask in a CALM Attitude.

Stay cool.

Don’t get trapped. And you know you’re trapped when you get so angry you can’t do your job. The dysfunctional team member is controlling you at that point.

If you accidentally let a difficult person takes control of you, retake control by doing something that will make you CALM.  Play racquetball or do something fun or athletic to let off steam. Think things through. Tell yourself, “I can handle it.” Whatever you do, come back to your team calm, refreshed, ready to focus on other people and other things.

You can also bask in a CALM attitude if you learn how to ask difficult people for new, more constructive behavior.  It’s one of the things I teach at my Journey-to-the-Extraordinaryprogram.

Take Gail Wescott, for example.  She’s a senior Social Worker for Hennepin County Social Services.   As she said, “I learned how to ask for what I want so others say ‘yes’ and follow-through.  I learned exactly what to do when I’m involved in negative, difficult, or challenging interactions with others.”

(PS:  My next Journey will be in Chicago, IL on November 10-11, 2016.  The Early-Bird Registration Discount of $500 is still available.  Click here to register.)

Simply decide, the difficult team member may give himself a headache, but he is not going to give you one.

6.  Maintain an OPEN-MINDED Attitude

When you see difficult behavior, it’s natural to think you’re right and the other person is wrong. That sets up an adversarial relationship.

You will be better off if you adopt an OPEN-MINDED attitude.

The secret lies in self-talk. Tell yourself: “Slow down. Wait a moment. Don’t react too quickly. Find out what the person really means. Hear him out. Remember, he sees things differently. So keep an open mind.”

The OPEN-MINDED attitude is especially important if you’re a team leader. People have a natural tendency to resist leaders. On the one hand, team members want a dynamic leader who will inspire them, but they’re also a little hostile towards anyone who has power over them. People are contradictory. So whenever your idea is shot down or a team resists your leadership, remember, it may be no more than a natural instinct to rebel against authority.

If you’re a team leader, you might also remind yourself that you’re paid to handle difficult team members. That’s a part of your job. And that’s why you’re given a higher position and more authority.

Author Robert Updegraff says it this way: “A leader should be grateful every hour of every day for the troubles of his job. They pay at least half his wages and salary. For if there were no troubles it would be easy to get someone to do his work for half, or even a third, of the pay he is getting. If he wants a bigger job, with a bigger income, he has to look for more troubles and learn how to like them.”

No matter how great your team might be or might become, there will always be some dysfunctional behavior displayed by some of the team members. People are people. No one is perfect. Rather than bemoan the fact you’ve got some difficult people around you, cope with it by adopting one of the six attitudes listed above.

Final Thought:  It is easy to see through people who make spectacles of themselves.

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The Last of Us [Submission & Dominance always go hand in hand]

God: “Word association, Dee?”

Death: “Proceed, God.”

God: “True Religion?”

Death: “Killing.”

God: “Believers or Unbelievers?”

Death: “Both.”

God: “You would spare no one? Treating all as Heathens?”

Death: “Correct. Unlike You. I would spare no one.”

God: “Why?”

Death: “You are both life and death. I, on the other hand, am only death. Besides … Not killing sucks.”

 

Feigning sanity. Mondo reanimates, for the umpteenth time, from a regime of “treatments”. Still very much in what continues to prove itself as escape-proof confinement. Sprawled on the bed of a padded room at Bedlam. Legs spread. Arms positioned at odd, humanly-impossible angles—i.e., highly improbable, even if she were a contortionist. Clean and pristine. Bolshoi makeup—applied heavily in a harsh, unbecoming fashion—i.e., beguiling, if you’re sexually bent. She’s dressed in her Koo, perls, prudz, torpedo bra, thong panties, and Careys. No holster, phone, or purse. And. No restraints, whatsoever. Teeth, are straight and blunt; not too big and not too long. Long, well-educated tongue: not forked and its normal length. Hard, pretty face; not insanity ravaged. Mouth: large and ugly, bespeaking of loathing and disdain even when that’s not its wearer’s intent—not contorted by madness—not bespeaking loathing and disdain amplified to the max by her unsanity-fueled insanity.

She sits up, her head throbbing from an enlarged pineal gland which is just now beginning on its way to shrinking back down to normal size. Chemical lobotomy always temporarily enlarges her pineal. If she were to remove her jacket, she’d see fresh needle marks [and old ones] in her left arm, marks which match those on the leftside of her neck. The aftermath of countless reagent injections.

A lot has been done to her: a legion of surgical and chemical lobotomies, electroshock therapy, floggings, sodomy, rape, debasement, etc—i.e., the works, numerous times. But. In her own home world she hasn’t been gone long enough to be missed. It’s only six hours into her abduction. But. In the span of those six hours on her Earth. Twelve years have elapsed on this world. Yet. She remains unbroken. Finally, the staff gave up trying [to break her]. Even when she’s rendered mindless, her true nature remains intact. She’s a textbook sadeo-masochist, and therefore she very much enjoys her degrading, degenerate captivity.

And. Be forewarned. No matter how low the girl sinks in her sexual depravity and drug addiction, she always kills brilliantly. Two of the staffers found that out the hard way—i.e., long, agonizing deaths for both of them at her hands. Since that incident—the ambush-slaughter of an experienced nurse and a veteran orderly—she’s kept in strict isolation and subjected to the severest security measures. No less than four staffers interact with her at any one time—at least two of which are armed and kept as backup.

In this anarchism personified—i.e., a Victorian hospital for the criminally insane, on the Ghost World of The Surreal Sicko. Mondo sports her strictest, sickest Victorian schtick: prime and proper, clean and pristine, severe and sex-starved—i.e., her völkisch. Her most nefarious vibe: sexually repressed/sexually omnivorous fascist shrew expressed at its extreme vis-a-vis the “dressed” junkie whore [i.e. wdr] downing in the loathing and disdain [i.e. severity personified, the delicious ouch] of a bitter forty-something divorcee and worse a bitter fifty-something spinster librarian and worst a rode-hard-and put-up-wet-too-many-times-to-count psychopath prostitute—i.e. frauengefängnis (women’s prison). Barbed wire doll. Her schoolmarm special. Her rendered as a severe nutter.

Sternns. Prudz. Heavy, harsh, unbecoming makeup. And. Straight hair.

A lush, silky, dead-straight, shoulder-draping bouffant minus the China-Doll bangs of a Lady Christina de Souza. Parted down the center so her hard-looking face is not obscured.

Dead straight hair, parted straight down the middle—a greta also Greta also ilsa also Ilsa—long, plain, shoulder-draping, unbecoming, severe.

Dead-strait. The severe, unbecoming hairdo sported by the stereotypical promiscuous lesbian wardens and matrons in those notoriously popular WIP [i.e. women in prison/women in peril] sexploitation and Nazisploitation movies of the 1970’s. Female wardens and their matron cohorts who were always expert practitioners of sadism upon their prison’s hapless female inmates. The preferred hairdo of defilers and Nazi shrews.

Mondo’s dead straight, yellow-blonde hair yanks back into a frumpy sternka. Her prim junkie hooker guise, her wdr, is complete. Underneath that façade is the always predatory, and thus supremely dangerous, Vampire abomination. Sternka—the other preferred hairdo of defilers and Nazi shrews.

She’s always being watched, remotely. And. She knows it. They’re always hiding in the walls. And. She knows it. She just doesn’t know their exact locations. Surveillance [remote and proximal in the walls] is done in shifts.

But. While the staff are watching Mondo so closely. Unbeknownst to the staff, they all have fallen for her misdirection and sleight of hand. Because, what should also be under their closest watch, is that safety deposit box which holds her possessions. Her phone [Lucy] and universal [Professor Jackie Stevens] are smart devices. Her cigarette purse [Maggie Q] is alive. Three personal possessions which are very possessive of her. And, they are patient about getting back together with what they all crave, which is her.

The hospital’s boxes are not the safe deposit boxes of a bank vault. As such, the safety deposit boxes in which the personal belongs of the patients are kept are designed to keep the most driven patient out. They’re not intended to contain something, let alone three of something, that crave out in the worst way.

After their initial placement, Lucy coerced the asylum’s security system into having Mondo’s safety deposit box stored in a seldom-visited part of the vault. The wily Purse changed form into something flexible and serpentine—the epitome of seduction, corruption, and deceit [i.e., The Serpent in The Garden]. Then it swallowed her holster and phone, whole, for safe keeping and easy transport.

Not a dumb beast—i.e., to say the least, Q is a bloody genius. Maggie began to expand, stressing the metal box in an asymmetric fashion. Either it pops open the locked, welded lid of the safety deposit box or it dies trying. It took three years, but it finally pried the lid open from the inside. The purse-as-snake exited the vault via a ventilation duct in the wall after compromising the duct’s grate without leaving behind any evidence of said compromise. Avoiding detection and gaining free run of the place by exploiting the ventilation system, it began its search for the girl. It took seven years to find her. But find her it did. That began its wait for the opportune moment to reunite itself with its mistress.

 

 

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Quote for the Day, Sunday September 11, 2016

not-running-sucks

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Northwestern prof Jackie Stevens says she’s been banned from campus

Reader TheBleader [EDUCATION / NEWS]

Posted By on 09.02.16 at 12:30 PM

OriginalSource

Jacqueline Stevens Courtesy of Jacqueline Stevens

Jacqueline Stevens
Courtesy of Jacqueline Stevens

Northwestern University professor Jacqueline Stevens hasn’t been shy about activism that shines a spotlight where the university might not welcome it.

A couple of years ago, for example, she was an outspoken supporter of the undergrad who brought a sexual harassment complaint against high-profile philosophy professor Peter Ludlow—it ended his career there.

And last year she was at the forefront of a successful campaign to squelch the appointment of retired U.S. Army lieutenant general Karl Eikenberry—a career officer whose military and government connections were stronger than his academic background—as head of Northwestern’s newly expanded research center, the Buffett Institute for Global Studies.

A tenured professor and recent Guggenheim fellow, Stevens founded Northwestern’s Deportation Research Clinic and has studied the operations of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), private prisons, and “the militarization” of her own field, political science. An article she published last year in the journal Perspectives on Politics used Northwestern as an example of a private university with what she calls a “militarized Board of Trustees,” who have a complex tangle of corporate ties and interests. She continues to investigate those ties.

Jackie Stevens

Her efforts have not been universally appreciated on the Northwestern campus. And now, Stevens told me by phone this week, in retaliation for her activism and criticism, people in her department and the NU administration are trying to get rid of her. She says her research funds were cut last spring, and in late July she received a letter from dean Adrian Randolph banning her from campus and from any contact with students. According to Stevens the letter charges that other faculty members feel “unsafe” around her, and orders her to see a psychiatrist of Northwestern’s choosing to determine if she’s “fit for duty.”

Stevens has posted a detailed account of her Kafka-esque predicament, in which she writes that she has “never physically threatened, much less assaulted anyone.” She’s asking people who know her—colleagues and students who can vouch for her mental fitness and behavior—to write to Dean Randolph on her behalf.

Northwestern spokesman Alan Cubbage, responding to a request for comment, e-mailed: “Out of respect for due process and to protect Professor Stevens’ privacy, Northwestern will not be making public statements on the matter.”

Read Stevens’s story in her own words here.

Jackie 'Zack' Stevens UNSHACKLED

COMMENTS (9)
   The requirement to see a mental health professional of the university’s choosing is not unique to Northwestern. It’s used when people with tenure start acting unstable. There’s not much you can do to them unless you can show that they’ve gone nuts.

This might be in retaliation for her activism. It might also be that she’s an effective activist and a nutter.

 

    “This might be in retaliation for her activism. It might also be that she’s an effective activist and a nutter.”

I read her blog; they haven’t scheduled a psychiatrist to test her. Prof. Stevens is afraid that they want to keep her off campus for this semester, then fire her later. NU is a private university and I’ve noticed that administration in such institutions see themselves as having the power of gods over faculty and students.

 

   Oh Ben:”It’s used when people with tenure start acting unstable. There’s not much you can do to them unless you can show that they’ve gone nuts.” Do you mean that it occurs often that “people with tenure start acting unstable?” So there is a standard procedure to deal with these unstable tenured people? I hope not.

Claiming that dissidents were psychiatric cases was a well-known method used by rulers of the (luckily, now former) Soviet Union. (Anybody opposing the system must be crazy, no?) In the absence of visible problems, the insinuation of psychiatric problems in a professor looks indeed like an excuse to get rid of a critical tenured faculty member. This is exactly the reason why we have tenure for university teachers, to give them the freedom to voice unpleasant truths.

 

   “In the absence of visible problems…” Well there you have it. If you knew Stevens, you’d know the problems are long-standing, have nothing to do with the Buffett center, and only seem to escalate as time goes by.

 

   Jackie Stevens: “Yes, inspiring research, scholarship, and teaching occur here. Every day I wake up excited to work with the wonderful colleagues and the students I have encountered here, including in the Political Science Department. The Mafia-owned Rao’s restaurant served great food, but even a four star chef wouldn’t last if the family felt its illicit deals were being exposed.”

I’m a bit slow. What exactly is she saying there?

 

  It sounds like she has very strong feelings, and a lot of words to say, about things that most people would ignore or fail to even notice.

 

  Worth hearing Tillery’s perspective, which is completely missing from this piece: https://www.facebook.com/alvin.tillery/posts/10153825328246056

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/09/06/northwestern-bans-professor-campus-and-faculty-members-split-whether-move-justified

 

  “The politics of the university are so intense because the stakes are so low.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayre%27s_la…

 

   Ah AAA, you make my point while trying to refute it. Are you, by any chance, an academic?

Jackie Stevens #3

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The Nutty Professor (1963) – Trailer

Jerry Lewis plays a timid, nearsighted chemistry teacher who discovers a magical potion that can transform him into a suave and handsome Romeo. The Jekyll and Hyde game works well enough until the concoction starts to wear off at the most embarrassing times.

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